Ok so I am new to the forum and just want to tell you my story first. I have recently cheated on my wife of 8 years, I have been messaging this other person on and off for the past year and ended up going to her house and she gave me oral. The women then threatened me days later that she would expose me to my wife if I did not pay her £500. I paid the money as I did not want to loose my wife and our 2 young children (2 and a half and 1 and a half). After speaking to a close friend he said she will blackmail me again and I need to come clean. Now last year my wife went through my phone and saw some messages from a girl who nearly split us up years ago. It’s taken her months for her to trust me again and we where really happy again so why I cheated I do not know. I am going to therapy this Monday to get some help. Anyway my wife now wants me out of the house and I will do this but it’s the children that I am really concerned about. They stayed with me last night and I could see my 2.5 year old was really upset and even through the night he was clearly having bad dreams. The youngest one doesn’t seem that fussed he just goes with the flow. I am really upset for what I have done and just wanted some help on how to deal with this in the immediate future (as in the next couple of days). I drop my children off today for the first time and I have explained to the 2.5 year old that I don’t live at his house anymore he is upset on and off. Please can anyone offer some advice
The only thing you can do is be bright and cheerful in front of your kids. Lots of cuddles. Be supportive of your ex who is probably in a worse state than you. Be decent, consistent and kind, and maybe over time you can rebuild some trust.
Kathy is right, and so is your friend. Remember as imorral as it was what you did, blackmail is illegal and you need to seek legal advice, if she can do again she will and if not to danage your relationship then elsewhere. If you have any evidence if the blackmail, texts or emails or what have u then go to the law with it, or yiu will be living in fear of it happening again.