I am so sorry for your loss, while I havnt lost a partner my dad suddenly died very young and I witnessed and felt the devastation this caused, I so wish I could offer you words to ease your suffering but I can’t, no words I can say are enough. I do very much feel for you, life can be so incredibly cruel.
Here are a couple of resources that may help:
Widowed and Young provide peer to peer support service for men and women under 50 who have lost a partner. It is run by a network of volunteers and offers a range of services. https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/
https://www.cruse.org.uk We offer support, advice and information to children, young people and adults when someone dies. We work to enhance society’s care of bereaved people.