Going through seperation early days support

[R1CKYDJ]

Hi all,

I need some support please. My wife of 10 years (together for 17), has recently announced that she didn’t love me anymore and wanted to be independent. 3 weeks later she was gone.

To make it worse we have a 6 year old son, with who I have a very close bond. Due to working arrangements he too has moved out with his mum. I’m heartbroken.

I don’t know what to do now. It has been 2 months since she moved, but it feels like yesterday. She seems so much happier now she’s on her own, it hurts so much. She didn’t shed a tear when she left.

Any tips or advice from either side of the fence would be greatly appreciated. I just need to know I’m not the only 1 and to try and make some sence of it all.

Thanks

[Sallyb123]

Really sorry to hear about your situation. It’s really hard separating and makes you wonder what life is all about. I’ve been separated from my husband for 4 years now, and I still have days trying to make sense of it all. Try and remain positive.

[R1CKYDJ]

Thank you Sally. Your most kind.

[Teaandcake]

Hi, I’m sorry you’re struggling, it’s all still raw for you. I dont know your relationship with your ex, but for me the following quote struck home;

“Women leave a relationship mentally a long time before they leave physically”.

This was certainly true of me. By the time I actually left my daughter’s dad, it came as a shock to him and he probably felt that I wasn’t very upset by it, but in reality I’d already grieved for the relationship.

Just know that you’re not alone and that you are loved.

It will get easier, bit by bit.

[R1CKYDJ]

Thank you Teaandcake (lovely name). Hope you find happiness.

[Teaandcake]

Thank you. I’m sure we both will. 🙂

[MattLancs]

Hi, new to the forum and just wondering how your getting on? Some simalarites for me with your description.

[Sherry123]

Hi

I’m sorry to hear this has happened to you. I have recently separated, but I’m sure it will get easier. Just take one day at a time xx

[MattLancs]

So people say. The good days are bearable and the low days are…well low as you can imagine. Time heals all wounds but I have friends telling me it took so many years to get over it. I dont need to hear that as I currently dont feel stong enough for years. Each day as it comes at the minute, but the days can be long. especially with the no sleeping.

[R1CKYDJ]

Thanks 😊

[R1CKYDJ]

Thanks for your message. In the end I ended up asking for help from my Dr. They were amazing and I’m not ashamed to admit that they prescribed me with medication to help with my low mood and sleep. I’ve never slept as well as I am right now and it has made a huge difference. Don’t be ashamed to reach out if you need to. As everyone says, it wl get better, but it does take time.

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by R1CKYDJ.

[Welshdad]

You’ll make yourself ill if you try to make sense of it all, Teaandcake is right….I was the other side of what she described and it is heartbreaking but sometimes just the way it is.  The only thing you can do is find focus on the one thing you can, and make sure you maintain a good relationship with your son.  For both your sakes.  He will be just as hurt and confused as you and needs your reassurance.  Sometimes it’s easier when you shift your focus to someone you care about.  Just don’t forget to look after your health too.

[Welshdad]

Sherry and Matt are right too…there is no set time.  It really is take one day at a time, but try to establish some kind of healthy routine as a coping mechanism and ensure you have a support network around you.

[R1CKYDJ]

In my quest for a distraction, I have in the last 4 weeks discovered running and I’m loving it. That and time spent with my son (who remains my key focus) make the days fly by and its all good for my mental and physical health. So at least 1 good positive has come from this so far and I’m sure more will too.

[Sherry123]

Hi Ricky  it’s nice to hear you reached out for help. We all need it sometimes 🤗 I think just knowing we’re not alone, and other people can relate to what we’re going through. 😊 As a new member here, it’s so nice to see all the support and lovely comments from everyone.

Keep strong and take one day at a time ( thats what I’m doing )

Xxx

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