Going through separation and want a happy outcome

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  • #6019 Report

    monomama
    Participant

    Hello,

    I’m going through separation at the moment to the father of my 18 month old toddler. I so want us to be happy and friends in our new world – how can I achieve this? Any advice anyone has to end up with a harmonious situation for all. I also really think that for that to happen, he really needs to move out, but he’s not really thinking the same. Any thoughts gratefully received…

    Thanks.

    #6031 Report

    MazLC87
    Participant

    Hi

    i am going through the same thing at the moment but mutually we have agreed it’s best for my husband to stay with his friend as financially we can not afford another option at the minute. We also have a 3 year old that we are keeping things as normal as possible for. My advice to you would be if him being there is making life unbearable and toxic he will need to move out as hard as it is. At least to give you both some breathing space. We have found this be the best option until we can sort something more permanent. Staying friends is the best way though if you can. Good luck

    #6646 Report

    Jadey
    Participant

    Hi, I am in a similar situation to you only there is no chance of our break up bring amicable and my partner is point blank refusing to move out leaving us living in an unbearable toxic situation that’s not only damaging to us but to our two young kids of 2.5 years and 14 months. I have no advice but just wanted you to know you’re not alone, although it sounds like your partner/ex is cooperating which I can only dream of. I have no idea what to do as can’t afford to rent (we have a mortgage) and he wouldn’t let me take our two kids away from their home anyway, or let me take anything else I would need. The situation feels hopeless but I have to have faith that something will come good for me in time.

    #6659 Report

    Yoli
    Participant

    It is very hard for some people to accept what life throws at them at times…When my ex and I split up (through my choice). I allowed him to stay for a few months but then I said he would have to leave, he was very angry and bitter for about 3 years but now 4 years later we are starting to work better together. The quicker you can be on the same page the better it is for the kids. Trying to incorporate business as usual for the kids as much as possible. I think refusing to leave is pure denial and fear or losing everything and if you feel you are not allowed to leave with the kids then that sounds like control…I hope you manage to find a solution that works for you all. Good luck.

    #6661 Report

    xxtwinklexx
    Participant

    unfortunately as much as i tried, we have  just failed spectacularly at keeping things on a great level for my 2 and 1 year old…..so not much help im afraid, but wanted too wish you luck…hate to read and run 🙂

    #6662 Report

    Jadey
    Participant

    Thank you.

    I think he is in denial although I can’t fathom why as I’ve been more than clear. The thing is now we aren’t a couple there is little respect left & he is just doing all the things now that he wants that he wouldn’t have done before & he’s basically living in his house yet socialising as much as possible coming and going as he pleases which suits him down to the ground, making it even more attractive for him to stay!

    His take on it is why should I get the kids & the house, they’re both as much his as mine. Would I let him take my kids, no way, so why should or would he let me do the same?

    Its a situation I can’t be a solution to at all. You never imagine yourself in anything like this do you when you’re happily in love with them.

    #6666 Report

    Yoli
    Participant

    I guess the question is…is this healthy for you all to live this way…mostly the kids…will he even regard that matter…

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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