Going crazy

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  DR 1 year, 2 months ago.

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  • #14637 Report

    DR
    Participant

    I feel like I am going to go insane.  I can’t be bringing my daughter up very well as she constantly disrespects me, refuses to do as I ask and I can’t stand her attitude. It’s a never ending battle.  This afternoon I have tried the silence path, telling her I am not going to speak again (when I do she tells me to stop moaning at her or stop shouting).  All I have heard for the past hour or so is “Stop ignoring me” like a broken record.  I am at the end of my tether.  Whatever I do doesn’t work. Does anyone else have this?

    #14639 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    Hey

    what age is your daughter?

    #14641 Report

    DR
    Participant

    DMP She is 11.

    #14643 Report

    SOLOMUMMY
    Participant

    How old is she?

    FWIW I think all parents suffer these moments. The difference being some children move on quicker than others…

    #14644 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    Ditto, let me know if you’d like to trade for a week and see if that stuns them into silence 😂

    Personally if any of my children cheese me off they get bombarded with household chores, I’m fair but I don’t want to hear nonsense from them after working a 10hour day. If they keep me sweet they pretty much only have to manage their own bedrooms (which are not managed well I might add)

    #14647 Report

    DR
    Participant

    I just feel really low and a failure! She will block my way when I try to get past, argue, then tell me it’s all my fault, half the time I can’t even remember how it escalates into madness. It’s just me and her so no escape for either of us I guess. I take things off her as consequence but thats doesnt work, if I asked/told her to do chores she would either say no or do them but with damage. She has at last gone to her room and is quiet but I feel like crying and a useless mum.

    #14653 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    Im sure you’re not a useless mum, though I know at times we all feel that way. A useless parent is absent by choice and shirks all parental responsibility, I don’t see you falling into that category 😀

    I imagine you’re a mum who cares a lot about her kid, a mum that’s currently being challenged but knows deep down that her daughter can make the right choices when she chooses.

    My mums advice was always ‘choose your battles’ and ‘don’t argue with a kid’. If you’ve chosen the right battle then there’s no discussion, it just has to happen. I’ve tried to raise the children (3of) by those rules. Consistency is important. Think about how you’d like things to change, then how to make the changes and work together to try make things better. Still to this day, my mum drives me insane if we spend too much time together, but I love her, we each just need space

    #14660 Report

    DR
    Participant

    Thankyou.  Definately need to find something that works to make changes. Tomorrow is another day.

    #14662 Report

    WD
    Participant

    …everything that DMP said!

    …and also, not knowing what relationship you two have, I found that having an age appropriate but open conversation with my children (9 and 11) about both what are my red lines and, crucially why they are as well as how it makes me feel when they push the envelope  and reminding them that I’m not perfect and sometimes need help getting through the day and they have a role to play too gets them thinking and being more considerate.

    It does have to be alongside picking battles and giving them some space and it does take time and agree that consistency is everything, but worth it as it helped us for a really nice and open relationship.

    It is importat that you you know you’re  not a bad mum, but you are a human being doing your best and trying hard and as humans we are not perfect. Your kid gets that, she just needs  to realise possibly that she shouldn’t use that (children can be quite resourceful in a self serving  kind of way) but help.

    #14664 Report

    fipple
    Participant

    Headphones work wonders!

     

    #14668 Report

    DR
    Participant

    I thought we had a good relationship until recently.  Its been just the two of us for many years. Now she is getting older she is purposefully trying to wind me up, shes admitted she does things to annoy me, I dont know why. She has hurt me a few times when I stand my ground about things and today has pushed me over the edge and drained me

    #14669 Report

    DR
    Participant

    May have to find some headphones then!

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