Going 50 / 50 with child care have you done this?

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  • #63604 Report

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    Hi

    First time writing on here. Split from my partner and we are in two separate house holds from Sept daughter age 5. He wants 50/50 this feels like too much of a step for her and for me.  I have done most of the child care until the last two months he has started doing two days a week and wants to increase to 3. 2 days is hard enough I don’t think this will benefit her. Just want to hear how others manage this situation.

    #63605 Report

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    forgot to tick the notify me box hope this works

    #63611 Report

    carriewb@icloud.com
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    My sister has this 50/50 co parenting, its one week him one week her and they do agree on wiggle room say big events etc. I personally think its a great idea.

    How is he as a parent is he hands on and present with her? Or not so much or unreliable. If thats the case then i wouldn’t either.

    #63656 Report

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    Hi,

    This is so helpful to hear your opinion on this and that other mothers do this. I do know its important for.a child to have access to both parents. I think I may need to adjust myself into this new way of living. He is a good father however was locked into his work 7 days a week for the first 4 years, it does feel that now I have moved out he is now making more valuable time for our daughter so its definitely been a positive step breaking up and my daughter now draws pictures of us all together which she hasn’t done before. He is up and down with being reliable but I am seeing improvements with this as he has started to adjust to making more for our daughter. Financially its a whole different subject I get about £80 a month he’s on a very good wage? working progress I guess. Thank you for listening.

    #63670 Report

    AnotherStatistic
    Participant

    Hi, I am a father of two girls and am in the process of separating from my wife. We have agreed 50/50 childcare and from my perspective it is the fairest, and right thing to do if the father really wants it, and is a responsible dad.

    I have concentrated on my career in their early years but only because I wanted the best for my kids. I’ll now prioritise them in a different way, and ensure I have the time to support them.

    Your maintenance situation doesn’t sound right, but it’s hard to comment without knowing all the variables such as your housing and work arrangements etc. My soon-to-be-ex is going to do very well out of our divorce financially (better than me) but rather than fight it, I try to remind myself that our kids will benefit ultimately.

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