I can’t quite believe I’m writing this and if I thought I was at rock bottom before then this is definitely rock bottom and the feeling of complete failure. I want to let my little girls Dad have her full time and me have her set days, are there any other mothers that have done this? I feel like I just can’t cope. He is living with his new gf and her 3 kids and I feel like I can’t give my baby everything she needs. I’m on the verge of loosing my flat and having a complete breakdown
Please dont judge, just had to get this out as I cannot tell my family as they will most likely disown me
Pat yourself on the back in being honest with yourself. If you do think your daughter would be better with her Dad then you should be proud that you are putting your daughters interest first.
Plans in the future can alter, contact can change. Whatever the decision you make now does not mean it is forever. Think you do need to speak to someone. Ring up the gingerbread helpline, they maybe able to help or may advise you on who to speak to.
Thank you, that didn’t come to mind about it not being set it stone forever, thank you for making me see it from a different view. All I can see is now and what’s in front of me, not the future, you’re right x
I am also in your boat but my situation is I didn’t have a choice where my son was to live. My son dad got me arrested and had to spend a night in the cell while the dad crept into my son school and took him. I call it legal kidnapping. Since then the dad refuses to return my son home. He had help from social services in aiding my son to live with him. Bare in mind, the dad did not want anything to do with his son and had no input since he was born, so you could imagine being a single mother for 7 years and boom the enemy comes and snatches your pride & joy.
I struggle every single minute of the day not being a mother. Having to see my son in contact centres and having supervised calls. It really is a strain on my sanity because when you got all this love to give to your child but there is constant barriers in the way, it’s so hard to stay strong. You can’t help but put yourself down and see yourself as a failure.
To make you aware of the timeline, it has gone on for almost 4 years and next month my son will be 11. All that time I’ve missed on really cuts deep and would highly recommend you keep your kids with you unless you have any underlying issues that needs to delt with professionally but dont ever think your girls are better off with the dad. They will have things such as “girl talk” that a dad may not always be able to handle.
I hope you continue to stay strong and have an open mind and do what best feels good for your family X
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