Girl is pesterering me for money

[MattlostatseaParticipant]

Hi, wonder if anyone could help. I had a one night stand with a girl 2 years ago, she said she was on the pill but turns out she wasn’t on the pill…. So she sent me a text a month after the night saying she was pregnant, I sent her loads of messages and got no reply..so I presumed it was a wind up, she got in touch about a year later saying she wants money for her daughter, I met up with them once for about 2 hours for an afternoon out but heard no more, she’s been in touch again saying she wants money for her daughter, I have given her about £150 so far just to shut her up.  But where do I stand with this, I’m not on the birth certificate etc, I’m not sure if she’s mine or not to be honest, I’ve worked out the dates and it works out that she could well be mine, she says she’s my daughter.  Help,do I tell my family and pay her a set amount of money just to let things lie or just ignore her, she said she will go through CSA though. Thanks

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

The csa is now the cms.

If you doubt that the child is yours, if the mother goes via the cms, you can question this amd have a dna test atyour expense if proven.  I don’t think that you pay if not proven.

However I’d be more concerned with whether you wish to be a father or not to the child. If you wish to get to know the child then you really need to be proactive in this.

The decision whether to tell your family is yours alone . If disputing dna then I’d wait until after that.

Do you have a partner and/or children?

[MattlostatseaParticipant]

Hi. Yes I have a partner and children, this happened before I was with my partner, should I keep paying her though?

[EmptyParticipant]

Get a DNA test first! If she is yours, you can’t just be paying money without access rights and you need it legally recognised.

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

Empty – Maintenance and contact are different issues. Children sent pay per view.

iF you think the child is yours read

https://www.gov.uk/get-dna-test

Do it ASAP. It’s not fair if your child for the mother to be struggling financially.

Given you have a new partner I would at least broach the issue with her. You’ve obviously bet your new partner quickly and had children, so think you need to at least share it with her.

[EmptyParticipant]

<span style=”color: #1a1919; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; background-color: #fbfbfb;”>Solomummy – “Maintenance and contact are different issues. Children sent pay per view.” Not quite sure what you mean by this – of course they are different. I was pointing out that if she is not his he shouldn’t have to pay and if she is and he is paying he has leverage to see her.</span>

[Author]

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