i have an 11 year old daughter who doesn’t want to see me. I haven’t seen her for almost two years and I miss her. Me and my daughters mother split up when she was six months old, she had me chucked out of my house by saying I beat her up. I didn’t. I went to criminal court and successfully defended myself, then I had to go to family court to gain access, this was slow paced… with time I worked to seeing my daughter at home and having the weekend to ourselves. The mother constantly became an issue. The mother gave my daughter a mobile phone and constantly sent her messages of look at what you are missing while you are with your dad! If I took the phone away the mother would come to my house and demand my daughter back. There’s been lots of friction and the mother does as much as she can to damage the relationship I had with my daughter, to the point where it’s broken us up.
I now have another partner and we have a child between us who we adore. We have a safe warm home and tried hard to make my daughter feel welcome. She doesn’t want to know. She’s blocked me on the phone and no longer keeps contact. I believe her mother has moved schools and I don’t know where to. I want to get in touch with my 11 year old daughter. What do you suggest. What steps should I make? I have a contact order but my daughter refuses to see me due to the lies my ex has fed her over the years. Thanks in advance
It might not be the mum, it might just be she’s feeling a bit unsettled by another child.
You may not know which school, but you can send her birthday cards and take her an Easter egg. Doesn’t have to be anything flashy, just little things that let her know you are thinking of her. And don’t be put off if she doesn’t respond. Be patient. At least she’ll know you are there if she needs you.
Kid’s aren’t daft. She won’t be taken in if her mum is spinning a lot of half truths.