Getting Divorced – Child Arrangements

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  • #19462 Report


    I really need some help. My husband and I have recently separated and will soon be going through a divorce. Problem is our child and his job.

    He works away Thursday – Thursday, leaves early hours and gets back past bed time.

    I simply cannot go without my child for 6 straight days while he’s home, that’s not fair.

    I was going to suggest the following:

    friday – sat (all day/night with him) every other week as per his work pattern.

    All day Sunday with him but home to me for around 5pm.

    Then he can collect her from school Mon & Tue to have tea with her but home to bed with me each night.

    Then he would need Wed to pack his bag ready to leave first thing Thursday so I’d have her till the following Friday.

    Alternatively I was going to suggest he have her Fri (after school), sat, Sun and Mon (after school), however that means he’ll never get to go out but only he will cause he’ll get his mum to babysit, then not only is she missing a weekend with me but him too.


    Please help.

    #19464 Report



    Its tough eh.  I was insistent that I didnt want to do a week on, a week off with my children.  We have managed to get an arrangement where I have them 4 days one week and 3 the next.  The days vary on a 2 week pattern.  So really what I am saying is it’s up to you both.  Also depending on who the main carer is changes who gets the child benefit / any maintenance gets paid etc so also consider that.  It is down to you both to come up with an agreeement, otherwise thats when you have to involve the authorities etc.  Best you work it out between you if you can.  I know, easier said than done.  It does seem his job is the difficulty so maybe he will be more reasonable because of that.  Good luck.

    #19618 Report


    I’m currently going through same thing. Firstly my ex husband suggested at 50/50 split of time our son spent with each of us, which was difficult for our son to come to terms with, but now agree that I have our son mon-fri and he has him at wkend a, but I also get 2wkends a month so that I’m not just the one who does all school related stuff and daddy does the fun stuff, but when I have my son at weekends my ex has him for 2 days during week

    trying to do this together to reach amicable decision is and has to be based as what is best for children especially when they are already suffering from separation of both parents

    #19621 Report


    It’s good to hear that you are thinking that way. Obviously don’t know your situation but be aware that who ever has the most is obviously most entitied to child benefit and maintenance. Just in case the amicability breaks down.

    My eldest of 12 now actually lives with me full time. Still get the youngest of 9 50% of the time.

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