Forgiving those that have left

[Hsduk101]

Do you ever get over the hate and forgive those that have left you? Even though you can never fully move on as you have a children with them

[Lorraine123]

Hi. Yes you do. It takes a long time to heal but you can move on and make your life better. Personally I found it easier when I minimised the contact with my ex. Concentrate on improving yourself and your life with your children, you’ll get there.

[Jayne_elizabeth]

I’ve just had to ask politely if my ex can stay away too. It’s been 5 months for me. He has moved onto another girl already and has recently moved into a new home. It’s taken alot for me to accept he doesn’t love me. At first I saw him as a friend. But then I craved for his attention and began letting him in for corree and stuff. He became comfortable and thought I was OK and started showing me photos of his new life. This hurt. So limiting contact will have to work 4 me.

[Lorraine123]

It is so hard. When we first separated I thought we could be friends and tried this for about 8 months. Then I put a stop to that because it wasn’t helping me and he was taking advantage of our friendship and I felt so used and hurt. 2 years later we get on fine and it doesn’t bother me to see him, although I don’t like hearing about his girlfriend either. I have my own life with my children and that’s my priority. Time is the best healer x

[Effusive]

As hard as it seems right now, without forgiving others we can’t see what they are capable of being.

Relinquish that anger, resentment, hatred, hurt and all those other ugly emotions otherwise you’ll be walking through life blindfolded. It’ll stop you from seeing all the beautiful things in others and yourself, robbing you of happiness, love and a life full of both.

[Hon16]

I am really struggling with this too and it’s been nearly 4 years. He’s moved on and had a baby with the person he left me for. I am broken inside but it’s the love I have for my son that keeps me going. I will never forgive or forget but life goes on and we remain civil. It’s about protecting our son and as long as he is happy and loved from both sides that’s what matters.

[Nilu2020]

I have been recently separated and finding it difficult with 3 children especially my 2 year old who bursts out crying for her dad, it literally kills me to see her so upset. I find him so heartless and a very selfish person it’s always about himself. His had no contact with the children and doesn’t want any contact either. I’m wondering how long it will take for me to move on and not care that he doesn’t care about my children.

[Pari275]

Mortified and relieved that I  feel the same hurt as others, that I am not alone, not being a total Psycho with my feeling.

Separted with my ex last year when he was emotionally invested with someone else and didn’t understand what boundaries are, had to live together after and it was easy as we had worked opposite shifts and never had to deal with each other, this last few months in lock down have been the worst.

Feelings which where masked by daily routines and work to being stuck in a house with someone who though we could just be friend and he could walk in and out of my room (without son), calling me petty for not allowing him to do my stuff, washing my laundry, cooking for me!

Then to only be told that he’s been unhappy with me or 5 years, our son is 5, suffered post natal depression. Gave up a ya job, sacrifed my self and work to be more family supportive, having and being a step m to kids older kids for 11 years and he never wanted it.

 

hate is a strong word but I feel hatered for him, once he gone he’s just a weekend dad.

I’m sure I’ll get over it.

• This reply was modified 3 hours ago by Pari275. Reason: Typo

[Pari275]

Correction

 

<span style=”caret-color: #1a1919; color: #1a1919; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>Mortified and relieved that I  feel the same hurt as others, that I am not alone.</span>

[Author]

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