Forced to have my daughter so I don’t have a social l8fe and she does

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Forced to have my daughter so I don’t have a social l8fe and she does

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #36518 Report

    De31
    Participant

    7

    #36528 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Do you mean your ex doesn’t look after your daughter at all, so you have sole care?  How old is your daughter?

    My ex will only see our son for a few hours on a Sunday. He does about 30 nights a year which isn’t enough for me to have a proper social life.

    For now, I meet friends for coffee over lunch at work, keep in contact on-line and do lots of play dates with other mums. I take my son out to eat most Fridays. We go to pub quizzes and art galleries together. But it’s not an adult social life, you are right.

    #36530 Report

    De31
    Participant

    I have my daughter Friday from 6 through till Sunday at 6. The mother she’ll have her that night and Monday morning then school has her. The nan has a Tuesday off so she’ll pick her up Monday and drop her off to school on the Tuesday. The mother will then have our daughter Tuesday night Wednesday morning Wednesday night Thursday morning and Thursday night. She won’t see her on the Friday because the nan will pick her up from school and then I have her.

    I don’t know whether I’m being selfish or not my mother looks after my daughter while I play football. But when that finishes I’m back to being a parent.

    I don’t have a social life anymore apart from that. And she doesn’t include me in any part of her life with school problems, injection, hospital appointments ect she’d rather publicise things on Facebook for attentuon and not tell me.

    I either work or look after her and she get aggressive with me and says I only have her two night a week and I need to grow the **** up. She won’t sacrifice or compromise. I don’t have holidays or birthday to go out and enjoy but she expects me to jump through hoops for her. I’ve done everything she’s ever asked. I might not do it with a smile on my face but she gets her own way.

    She’s drops our child off at 10:30 on Christmas day 3 years in a row and she does her her till the new year. Like I said I don’t know whether I am being selfish. But I feel like I am being abused and taken advantage off. I’m basicaly just giving her money and being free child care for her on the weekends

    #36533 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    If you go to court and get an access order, the court will expect you to alternate weekends, so you each have some quality fun time with your child and some personal time for yourself. Perhaps that is the best approach.

    You would probably also have to do one evening a week, so you would also have to do one school run.

    #36534 Report

    De31
    Participant

    Thankyou I’ll have to do some research. It’s probably quite expensive but at the cost of my mental health it’s nothing.

    The thing is aswell is she’s always tried to sabotage relationships and friendship between me and other people and lately she’s been uploading stuff on Facebook to try and humiliate me and make me look like the villain. I’ve never stoped her from doing anything but she seems intent on making my life difficult.

    I’ve never felt so alienated and alone in all my life. I was at a real low point going straight into 2020 nearly lost my job and stuff and I just stated to feel a bit better and this happens. I’m not in that place again but I don’t see it getting much better unless it’s court ordered.

    #36545 Report

    EmJay
    Participant

    You talk about your child in an appalling way. Yes you are selfish. You have your child two nights a week and don’t see her needs of any interest only your own. You might lose contact altogether if you carry on whining. Grow up and be a parent. Newsflash we make sacrifices for our children and you are not a child. Of course she doesn’t bother you with more involvement you don’t step up to the involvement you’ve already been offered. That your parents facilitate you to play football when you’re supposed to be focused on your child shows how entitled you are. Anyone who says they are providing childcare to their ex shows they are making no effort to have a relationship with their child. Get to a parenting class and get your priorities straight

    #36552 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    Honestly who has a social life these days when you have children to care 4. What happens to child during holidays???

    #36553 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    De31, the first thing I’d do is stop looking at her fb page. The only person reading that rubbish is you. No one else is interested.

    You do have five nights a week to socialise, which is 5 more than a lot of us have, so you have plenty of opportunity to date. And you have parental backup so you aren’t unsupported.

    Plan your weekends to do lovely activities with your daughter – go to the cinema or the zoo. Take her to soft play or tree runners. Try children’s theatre or  start teaching her to swim or ride a bike. What does your daughter like to do?

    #36569 Report

    Hi all

    I’m one of the moderators here.  We strongly encourage our users to take a non-judgemental approach to other users to facilitate connection and support. I’m including the link to our guidelines on how our forum operates.  Please can you all be aware of these guidelines.

    Kind regards, Justine

    #36582 Report

    De31
    Participant

    I think you lot are taken what you want from this. She destroys any type of friendship or relationship I have or try to have. She’s sleeps with my brother and my friends and laughs about it because she can. Even four years later I can’t talk to a female friend without her getting aggressive or making it uncomfortable.

    She paid some persons £20 to drop our daughter off in the snow ten miles away from hers to mine. and she gave me abuse for speaking back to her becuse i said that it wasnt right and it was out of order. And I didn’t even know the bloke! Also I had to pass my daughter through her living room window because her and six other people were hungover and stoned at six on a Sunday when I brought her back and she had the cheek to have a go at me ( I’m guessing you’ll agree with her) you could say I should of kept my daughter but then I’m loseing money and most probably my job so how am I supposed to support her then?

    This woman has physically and mentally abused me even to the point where she’s tried stabbing me with a knife.

    When she has our daughter she sits in the kitchen smoking weed whike shes on her phone while my daughter is in the living room watching tv. So she doesn’t actually spend much quality time with her. And I’m the selfish one for wanting to have a social life on a weekend!

    I immediately get back after football to cook her dinner and spend the rest of the weekend with her. While her mother is taken drugs and sleeping with people. Again im selfish for wanting to have a  life.

    She’s done many more things as you can imagine. But what am I supposed to Do? I thought his site was supposed to help but I was sadly mistaken Thank you and God bless.

    #36583 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    That’s really bad and I’m sorry you have been given a bad time.

    I find it’s women who are generally hostile to men on here. Look if you had said this in the first place you wouldn’t have received such rotten responses. Sounds like your ex is having a great time smoking pot and obvious ly uses the weekend to her advantage!!!

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)

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