Forced separation and homeless wanting two bed for safe place for my kids

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  • #62448 Report

    Noel
    Participant

    My wife  and I have slowly grown separate ways

    we have two beautiful children 6 and 2

    I wanted to progress with life start doing useful things with my time my partner always wanted to use my time to her own benefit and have me facilitate to her needs alone

    I bend over backwards for my kids and I did the same for her to until one day I woke up and realised that I don’t ever think of my self not once in 7 years of being together

    but one day I had enough and started to say no

    from me developing a conscious for my self it quickly all went down hill from there

    I was told that I had until the end of the week to pack my stuff and to leave and that I had no rights in the house because my name was not on the tenancy after 6 years of me thinking it was

    so I left and  I did Try my best to put it nicely to my son that I wouldn’t be around much lately but that I will always be there if he needed me it broke my heart to have to leave my kids and pains me now just writing this about him

    Whilst leaving she phoned her nan who then said he better be gone before your mum gets there then  I was threatened by her mum and told to be a man about being forced to walk  away from my kids

    when all they do is come up one day a week and  fill them full of sweets for an hour then go home again

    I was then homeless and sleeping in a park for two weeks and sofa surfing till finally being given  a place in a shared accommodation but now they have told me I can bid for only one bedroom property’s but that would stop me from seeing my kids altogether

    I have been in touch with the council and shelter and still awaiting reply’s from most other places  but I am out of luck and don’t know who to contact about  seeing my kids and having them be apart of my life  I just wanted to know if anyone has any advice in going forward or what my options are

    #62502 Report

    Stephanie221
    Participant

    Hi

    I don’t normally comment on posts but seems as if your going through a lot at once think u need to take a breath and take one step at a time!
    First you need to get yourself together your no good to the kids otherwise so housing I highly doubt you will be entitled to a 2 bedroom so you have 2 options you look for a private let and pay the extra or you bid for a 1 bedroom and hopefully get 1 soon having a 1 bedroom won’t stop you from seeing your kids there’s lots of NRPs in shared accommodation or 1 beds that do and I know you want your kids to have a room but you having contact with them will be enough for them so they can either sleep in your room or you can have daybeds/sofa beds for them in living room  they won’t always be staying with you and it’s only for sleeping so it’s not unreasonable. Second I’d speak to your ex about contact and try and arrange it sooner rather than later if she’s not willing then you will have to get a mediator it costs but it needs to be tried first if it ends up going to court. I’d say even if access is no issue just now things could change and you need a more formal arrangement. Not sure if you are paying child maintenance (u should be) but if you are privately I’d keep a record of it as she can apply to cms whenever she wants to be honest it would be better for you to start a cms claim so your in control somewhat. The main thing is you have contact with your kids they won’t worry about where they see you or where they sleep so don’t worry.
    sorry if I’ve rambled and you didn’t want this type of advice just thought I’d give it as if what you say is true and she was fine seeing you being homeless and her mum and things then i don’t see things being easy for you but you need to just concentrate on your kids now. Also I’d make sure your definitely not on the tenancy agreement or any bills at the house as if you are then u can be liable later on.
    Hope things work out for you

    #62505 Report

    Noel
    Participant

    Thank you Stephanie

    I really appreciate your response and to be truthful you are right

    my kids are the main priority and aslong as I get to see them I should be happy

    I’m working towards getting my self sorted first and in the right mind state and financially safe as everything just hit me at once

    waking up to the reality that I don’t get to see them every morning and wave them off after taking them to school is  just hard

    I Need a place to let it it out

    Reality with out them is causing me deep pain inside but as I have said I’m going to work towards a brighter future with them in it

    I still pay for some of the bills but that should come to a end in February  by then I hoping to have saved enough for the first few months rent on some where private

     

    thank you for genuine response and insight it has been noted and I will put it to use

    kind regards

    Noel

     

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