First trip out as single parent – so sad

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  • #59748 Report

    Nicw
    Participant

    So today I took my 2 year old to soft play for the first time as a single parent. She had a lovely time and so did I but I have never felt so alone and lost. I separated from my partner 3 weeks ago and I knew I had to start getting out and about but I felt so alone, like I was the only one there in this boat. Absolutely devastating. Please tell me it gets easier.

    #59749 Report

    Dpsebast
    Participant

    I remember taking the kids on holiday in a July to a caravan site without my wife. It felt so strange and lonely, but the kids had a great time meeting new friends. I appeared to be the only single parent and felt alone. That was not great for me.

    #59750 Report

    Nicw
    Participant

    Its dreadful isn’t it. Everyone else together as couples with their children and it was heartbreaking.

    #59751 Report

    Dpsebast
    Participant

    I guess it gets easier and I know it’s not what you want to hear ☹️.  There have been a few occasions recently where I have taken the kids out and they had a good time which was the most important thing.  I do miss sharing those moments with my wife

    #59756 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    It takes a while. I avoid the supermarket and park when i know there are going to be too many families. However,  there are more struggling single parents out there than you think.  There’s nothing wrong witb you hearing what a great job you are doing. But it’s lovely that you can take them out with you. You don’t know what goes on in individual families. They might look happy…..tbh I’d rather be single than miserable.

    #59757 Report

    Nicw
    Participant

    Yeah, the fact the kids still have a good time is most important so I just have to put my brave face on and get on with it and have a good cry later if I need to.

     

    Theyre good ideas about avoiding specific places and times when it’ll be too busy with families for now. I can completely relate to the ‘rather be single than miserable’ because previously jn the eyes of onlookers i must have seemed to have it all, gorgeous kids , we were together, a big house , good jobs etc …. but inside I was falling apart rapidly in a bad relationship. Suppose you never know whats real and whats put on for outsiders.

    #59758 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    Hey there

    Honestly you need to accept your situation. I think this is the first step, I felt so lonely but after a while I realised how lucky I’m to have a wonderful boy in my life, things get easier if you accept it and face with your difficulties!

    Hope things get better for you

    #59759 Report

    Nicw
    Participant

    I completely accept it. Jusy doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, probably because its all so new and raw. I’m extremely lucky to have an amazing son and daughter and I’m happy that I have made their lives more calm and stable, I guess it was the hopes for the future and how it was supposed to be I’m struggling to come to terms with …. but , it is how it is and what I’m holding onto was dream, not the reality of how it was if that makes sense.

    #59760 Report

    plogermans
    Participant

    Yes, so many single parents yet wherever you go they all seem to be 2 parent families, be it the school, holidays, shopping, the park on a Sunday etc, strange isn’t it, I know exactly how you feel.

    #59761 Report

    ril06
    Participant

    It is a really hard time. I still end up looking at all of the 2 parent families on days out and feeling sad. Focus on the fact that you are there- you are doing this alone and you have got yourself out and achieved this. Focus on the happy. It does honestly get easier- I didn’t believe that at all when I first became a single parent but it really does. The first times of anything are really hard but after the first, it becomes easier.

    #59762 Report

    Dpsebast
    Participant

    This will be week 3 of separation, but still living in the family home. It is very difficult sharing a home with someone who wants a divorce. Never thought it would come to this.

    #59763 Report

    Nicw
    Participant

    Yeah I figured all the firsts alone would be hard but in time , hopefully becomes like normal. I’m still living in the family home with my kids and he has gone so its really hard being surrounded by good and bad memories. Going to view a new property for me and the kids tomorrow night, so fingers crossed it is for us and we can get out of here. I feel that’ll be another huge step forward. I truly feel for all of you goingnrheough the same and appreciate your input. Such a hard time.

    #59777 Report

    ril06
    Participant

    It is really hard being in the family home. I’m currently waiting for my sale to go through so I can finally get out and have somewhere without all of the memories. I hope you manage to find somewhere quickly 😊

    #59778 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    Take your child to the supermarket. If you don’t mind them pulling things off the shelves at random then let them walk but otherwise put them in the trolley. I did this and it’s lovely. Don’t go in with a time-limit or a shopping list! Go to the fruit and veg aisle – all those colours! Don’t forget that you don’t need to do much for a 2 year-old to have a lovely time. Pooh-sticks, swings and slides etc. Keep it simple. Perfect weather now. Conkers,  leaves to walk through. Autumn is the best season for kids.

    There will be times when it will be you and other single parents and they will equally be struggling. They just seem like they are not. They are also reluctant to reach out. No-one likes to admit they are struggling.

    I loved taking my now nine year-old son to the local children’s centre. Why not contact them? Lack of money etc means they have limited their resources but they will be able to offer some support.

    There are a few events from my son’s early childhood that have stayed with me. One is being told by a woman in a supermarket that she could hear me from the other side of the shop. I was doing nothing more than talking (very animatedly) to him and she thought it was lovely. Too many parents don’t talk to their kids. If i was you i would ignore the rest of the world and enjoy spending time with your child.

    Oh and playground equipment is for dads and mums too! Don’t watch your child from the ground. Get on there with them!

     

    #59779 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    Sorry, that was a long post! But worth a read!

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)

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