First time mum now a single parent in covid-19 times
19 April 2020 at 12:00 pm #39198
Hi all, I haven’t actually written out for support before but feel I have a complicated situation. I left an emotionally and financially abusive relationship. I was working abroad as a teacher in Munich Germany and fell pregnant with a man i hardly knew. It turns out he wasnt such a good man, breaking the law, and living from sofa to sofa really and found out he was telling constant lies as well as having a alcohol issue which meant he couldn’t keep a job. I left him when pregnant and came back to the uk. But having not lived here for a year or so and was enjoying life abroad, I feel like this wasnt planned for me to have a baby and become a single parent. I am so in love with my newborn baby boy but I didn’t realise how hard it would be as a parent, espicially doing this as a single parent. I lived in fear in pregnancy alot of the time as he threatened that he would come to the uk and not let me walk alone as a single parent, but the reality is hes not been in touch. My parents took over my phone and i got a new phone and number and hes not contacted the phone at all, dispite lots of threats he would when the baby was born. I just feel like i have so much change now, as my job is still in Germany and because of the situation it makes me feel im unable to return to a city and job i really enjoy. It would be good to connect to other single parents, so I do not feel so alone!19 April 2020 at 7:36 pm #39204
Hi Gem, have you re-settled in the UK now? You say your job is still in Germany so do you think you’ll end up going back eventually? I know how you feel when it comes to feeling alone.22 April 2020 at 5:09 pm #39294
I have and haven’t settled. Currently being in lockdown is making life harder to socialise and meet other mums etc. I am waiting to move house again this would be the 4th time since I fell pregnant. I don’t know it’s such a hard one because obviously I have my job there and income but also the baby’s biological father and we aren’t in touch and he’s not in the babies life. My family is here and a massive support right now. What’s your situation as a single parent?22 April 2020 at 5:46 pm #39296
I hope you’re ok. I guess with lockdown, you can’t really make any decisions. You can’t go back to Germany easily. Is your job on hold there or would you still be working?
Like most of us, I’d hole up with your son, make the best of an enforced rest and take stock. Can you start looking at agency or supply work in the UK? If you are planning to stay for a while and let your parents help you while your little one is tiny, it can’t hurt to get your cv out there.
I’m furloughed so at home teaching my son. And spring cleaning, decluttering and generally planning for later in the year. It’s taken a while to get my head round my world being so confined. I just have to be patient |& deal with each day as it comes. It isn’t easy.22 April 2020 at 8:33 pm #39302
my job is remaining open as I have a contract and the maternity is good compared to here in the UK as I have 3 years. I’m okay I don’t need to work right now luckily and want to be with him for the first 2 years as they are the most important. I am not sure I would want to do agency or supply work I always usually have a contract and stay in the same place to be a familiar face for the children.
How old is your son? How’s the home schooling going?23 April 2020 at 7:57 am #39305
He’s 11 so this is his first year of senior school.
I think I’m lucky that he likes most learning. His school has set work in most topics on various portals and the class uses Teams to communicate together. It can get a bit heated sometimes but generally we’ve coped so far.
I’m struggling with the idea of 7 weeks of this though. I’m not a teacher. It’s hard to get him outside for exercise every day. We cycle & walk, have a kick about but he’s reluctant. And he doesn’t like video calls so he’s losing contact with his friends and his dad ☹️
It’s not easy for anyone23 April 2020 at 3:06 pm #39312
Hey, There’s the Joe wicks pe classes online every day, has he tried that? I guess it’s all about finding things he enjoys. It’s good his learning his being supported by being in a team, it’s not easy doing things from home. Many children are home schooled but it doesn’t work for everyone.
How often does he speak and see his Dad? Is he a good dad to him??