First steps advice, what help can I get.

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  • #57528 Report

    ThrowMeALadder
    Participant

    Hi

    looking for advice and help on steps I can take as a father with a court order giving my child the protection he needs, looking to break free from a bad relationship.
    My Situation

    I’ve recently gone through court and won custody of my son (4) and has supervised access only to his mother.

    I moved in with my partner three years ago and put everything into this relationship financially and now feel trapped

    There has been a string of highly stressful things happen and it’s broken our relationship and now feel I need to get out before any bad atmosphere effects the children (she has 2 and I have 1)

    I only met my son when he was 2 (long story and not through choice) and so feel a bit green to this fatherhood.

    money is very tight at the minute as I am out of work due to a car crash and broke my back in two places and struggling with the aftermath. When I have looked at how to break free all I can see is walls blocking me due to lack of money mainly.

    what support is out there for fathers in my situation and how can I get a place for us to live.

    #57537 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    Hi, 

    massive love to the hard stuff you are experiencing right now, sounds super tough & totally understandable you’d want to break free of it all.  

    without knowing more its tough to give advice as so much can be dependant on resources in your area; but highly recommend the gingerbread helplines for the best advice & signposting.  

    Parent to parent, juggling small kids & any unwellness, injury or mixed ability is enough to strain or destablise most relationships, maybe someplace like relate.org.uk can help get things to a more manageable place. I’ve heard the mens advice line can be very supportive too. 

    for housing & financial stuff, it may be worth checking out ‘turn to us’ or ‘entitled to’; which will let you enter info to work out the support that may be available. local councils often publish housing options info on their website . – unfortunately most councils are in social housing crisis & can’t meet need as it is, so it worth baring in mind; it may be easier to find a supported deposit scheme & rent privately with housing benefit or apply to housing association. 

    best of luck & healing to you  

     

    #57554 Report

    ThrowMeALadder
    Participant

    Thanks JBLA I will be checking <span style=”caret-color: #1a1919; color: #1a1919; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>‘turn to us’ or ‘entitled to’ as I was not aware of these thanks.</span>

    #57555 Report

    Carmen
    Moderator

    Hi there

    Don’t forget that you can always contact our single parent helpline.  The advisers will be able to give accurate and specific advice based on your  own situation.  Please do bear in mind that you may have to wait a little while before they answer the call.  Here are their details:

    Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925

    Opening hours:  Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4  They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered

    Wish you well, Carmen.

     

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