First hearing

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  • #36802 Report


    Hi all,

    This week I will have my first child arrangement agreement hearing.

    My ex wife is represent by a solicitor.

    I am litigant in person. I have done my statement already. Any advice or experience would be great




    #36839 Report


    Hi Kax, I was also self representing in court. I found the hearings very different and disjointed. However impartial, mostly. Only advice is come prepared with any information you think the judge is likely to want to know. i found there is almost no time to actually speak during hearings so I tried to gather all notes, evidence, photos, etc prior and hand it or email it to the court in advance.

    My ex partner had a solicitor and barrister on one occasion and it did not help because he relied on being able to speak up at the hearing. Preparing in advance I think gave me an upper hand. However also being honest and not alienating him gave me a positive outcome (as positive as separations can be as it’s not really the right word). Try to make the judge and cafcass see that you want the best for your child, that is the main thing. I don’t know your situation so can’t really advise. Be calm and positive and put the wellbeing of your child first always in statement, hearings and your Approach. The system, I have found wants both parents actively

    involved. An imbalance occurs when there is a threat to the child, parental alienation or inconsistency and dramatic chance in routine.

    Good luck and all the best.

    #36841 Report


    Hi BusyBee83,

    Thanks a lot. extremely helpful.

    I have sent my statement to the court and solicitor. All I have done since is towards the children and only the children. I have waited a very long time before going to the police and press charges vs my ex wife for emotional abuse, controlling behaviour.

    In term of way to proceed as it seems no time will be given is that better for me to prepare my “speech” and read it?

    Dunno about emails and photo. for example She force me to “communicate” via an application but she doesn’t and use it like it was instragram or facebook. She never communicate about core issues with children. I have to fight to be updated by school or any other stuff. It’s very hard mentally. I did my best to help her, support her even after divorce by since I told her that I want to be emotionally disconnected to her she became a real monster using our children as a pawn to reach me. She succeed. She use this app as a control about when and how I reach my kids, holidays etc etc… Cafcass knows. hope they understood it.

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