First hearing- need advice

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    John581
    Participant

    My ex wife and me seperated in 2018 and have a 5 year old daughter at the time we lived together and she decided to move 14 miles away while i stayed in the house. In time i moved approx 19 miles from where she lived with our daughter. My ex partner has a vehicle but refuses to share any of the driving stating that it is down to me if i want to see my daughter. I have adjusted my working hours as much as possible to see my daughter for 4 nights every other week. I also offer to do half of the school holidays as i get a generous amount of annual leave in my job. Initially we would share the christmas with one parent doing christmas day and the other having boxing day. This worked well until this year she decided she was changing it and now wants to share christmas day and alternate each year. In terms of birthdays i used to see my daughter each birthday but this year she decided she would have her for the full day and despite making every effort to see her at the end of the day was told that they were busy. I then asked if we are now alternating her birthday to which i was told “As if you get to make that decision” After suggesting mediation i have attended and she refused. i have now applied for a child arrangement orderto settle these things and have something in place. I am terrified of the thought of going to court but am asking if i am being reasonable asking for these things and is it fair that we share the driving? I have asked my ex partner if she would mind doing some of the driving so i could see my daughter more only to be told no as she sees this as doing me a favour

    Please help with honest advice if you think i am the unreasonable one

    #63171 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    I hope these issues can get sorted out for you. I been through the courts, and our special occassions are shared half days. one of them I pick up kids night before, and return them the next day after lunch.my kids live 30 mins drive away. I do all pick ups and drops. ex does not drive. even if she did I would not expect or rely on her to do it consistently. perhaps you could ask court to share the driving, but I don’t think they will take it seriously. is there any chance for you to move closer to ex home to make the travelling shorter?

    #63173 Report

    John581
    Participant

    Thank you for your reply (steve3334) I would be happy if my ex partner done some of the driving even but she flat out refuses to do any. She no longer works for a living but will drive to collect or drop off her partners children from his ex wife and she returns the favour. It just seems that they are unwilling to do any to ensure i can see my daughter. My ex has told me that my daughter misses me and wants to see me more and i have explained that i would happily have her more if they could bring her over or collect as i have made as many adjustments with work as i can but they refuse saying its not going to happen.

    I have considered moving but my partner and me both work local to where we live and her children attend the local school so logistically it would not work with start times at work even if we were to move to the same village

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

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