Financially drowning on my own.

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  • #19174 Report



    I’m recently separated from my husband and father of our baby. I am working full time and have to pay £900. per month nursery fees for our daughter. My husband refuses to pay anything towards her fees. Both he and I work full time and he does have our baby for 2 nights one week and 3 nights the next, does anyone know if he should be legally responsibly for half of those fees? He pays me £40 per week, occasionally.

    #19186 Report


    Hi my little girl is now at school but I got help with nursery fees . Try contacting hmrc and see what they say.  I struggled and am in debt because I paid  £98 a day then changed to a £54 a day nursery which was much better then the expensive one.  It’s a lot of money to shell out.

    I pay a nanny to wait for my daughter to get home because I’m still travelling home from work. She gives her something to eat and I’m home at 5pm on a good day. Just tell them you are lone parent no support from father and you are unable to contact  him

    Happy new year and good  luck.

    #19189 Report


    Hi Jackie (and all)

    Sorry to hear about your situation – you’re not alone! My son’s father has him 4 nights a month and won’t contribute to any nursery fees (750-930 per month!) I’m working full time and not on a great salary. I’ve moved back in with my parents but my 3 year old son needs his own room and some stability. Does anyone have any idea how I can get a deposit of about 2k together (with a past bad credit score!)?! I get help from universal credit to cover rent and nursery costs – Jackie it maybe worth visiting ‘entitled to’ to see what help you can get. Also you can claim child maintenance legally! I almost had to go down that road, they offer a collect and pay service where the money is taken from your ex’s account every month, out of their control. It’s calculated depending on their income and how many nights a month they have their child.  They’ll write to your ex and suggest that they pay the calculated amount first as it will cost him less (they charge him for having to go down that route). Hope this helps. Any ideas to my situation please let me know xx


    #19243 Report


    Hi.  I have had to look into various things, which you may already know but here goes anyway:

    On the HMRC website is a calculator where you enter his earnings, the average number of nights he has them etc and it should advise you how much child maintenance he should be paying you.  I would send the results to him and say if he does not pay it, you will be getting the agency on to him.  Also you should obviously get the child benefits and depending on your wage other benefits too.  Again there are numersous websites which can tell you how much you are entitled to.

    If you take these two options, then that is the end of his legal requirements and so you will then be responsible for all childcare, food , clothes etc.

    Have you gone to CAB to get some free advice?  Does your work do childcare vouchers?



    #19244 Report


    It is better to contact hmrc they will contribute towards nursery at least that will ease the financial burden of having to fork out shed loads each month. You need to complete forms fir evidence and obviously you need details of the nursery. Find out if they  backdate money .  I would not bank on maintenance money coming because it’s not regular

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