Any experience or advice would be greatly welcomed…
My husband had recently taken me to court for increased access of our 14 month son. He has him 2 afternoons a week and Saturday 9am – Sunday 9am. He wants 2 nights a week now increasing to 3 nights per week when my son turns 2 years old.
i left due to his controling behaviour and emotional and sexual abuse. I went to the police about a particular incident & have been working with women’s aid since. Cafcass have seemed a fact finding not necessary as he has access already so therefore no immediate risk. My concern is what happens when my son can talk and oppose his father (who doesn’t like the word no!)
He would get incredibly stressed with work and lock himself away to clear his head for hours at a time when he got home. Another concern I have if my son spends significant overnights there as you can’t do this with a child!
The court have ordered that we have no contact bar for in an emergency due to his constant harassment of me for the 6 months since I left! Again I wonder how a court can think that splitting a child’s time pretty much equally, can be in the child’s interest of the parents don’t even speak! My son would literally have two separate upbringings and routines. Where is the stability?
my question is, does anybody know how likely 3 nights a week from 2 years of age is in light of the circumstances?
He may be that way with you but it doesn’t necessarily mean he would be that way with kids. My ex-partner would be kind and loving to our daughter when she took the time out to see her. This was in stark contrast to how she was with me – abusive and confrontational. If he has the child 2 nights a week already, I think a judge is likely to give him a 3rd night. The statistics of how kids tend to develop with an absent father speaks for it’s self and courts are very aware of this. It very rare now days for shared parenting but certainly an increase from 2 nights to 3 nights would more than likely be granted as well as access during holidays etc.
In regards to your concerns, a judge is likely to say that if you are okay with it being 2 nights than there should not be an issue with it being 3 nights.
all of the above is just my humble opinion and experience so far with the courts etc