Fight for single parents rights
24 August 2020 at 9:41 pm #43211
I have been think about this a lot recently and not because of my own situation because my ex lives in Texas and what I am about to state would not impact on him.
I am fed up of watching many of my friends (both female and male) struggle because their ex either doesn’t financially pay or chooses to suddenly not have their kids for the agreed contact. They make demands and refuse to give consent when most of the year they are not interested in their own child, but it seems to be a form of control over the other parent. I am aware of the financial, emotional, mental and physical impact raising a child on your own has. It seems unfair that the other parent is able to pick and choose, have no responsibility and basically carry on their life with no regard to the impact it has on the other parent and in some cases are still controlling, demanding and horrible to the other parent. I have heard of social services telling women to just let the man have his freedom and do what he wants and to just get on with it like the woman has no rights, career or life. I am, however, fully aware of other parents who are not like this and coparent brilliantly.
My own situation has seen my ex move to America out of his son’s life except for 9 weeks a year. He takes no responsibility for his schooling, clubs, day to day life, pays little financially and is not there emotionally for his child either. In fact, my son says he doesnt want to tell his dad about his life! The decision he made to move to be with the woman he had an affair with has impacted on my life and my son’s life immensely. I have just had to pick up the pieces he has created. This is not me being bitter as I am happier without him and have an amazing relationship with my son, but his selfish decisions have financially, mentally and emotionally impacted on me and I have had no say in anything, no choice and am just left to cope. It has also damaged my own career that I spent years building up whilst his has now flourished. No one seems to consider the bigger picture here.
As a result, I want to do something about it, to stand up for all the other single parents out there who are presented with an archaic system that is not fit for purpose and try to find some fairness. Both parents chose to have a child, both have 50% parental responsibility so both should share responsibility and if one fails to then there should be a way to penalise them or make them step up or maybe strip them of the power they have to make decisions.
Another issue is court costs. I have spent 18k because of 3 applications the other parent made. He had a barrister and I was not going to fight against a barrister in court on my own. There seems no help out there that I am aware of to support a single parent financially with this. I certainly didn’t qualify for anything.
After my rambling and I am not sure if I have explained myself well, i am not sure how to get our voices heard. Who do I contact to start this process? What should I do? We have to do something about it to get heard. Any ideas?25 August 2020 at 8:48 am #43212
Hi Nat2020, I am in a very similar situation and have also been wondering what can be done to change things and how to make a difference for other women. Is there any way admins can put us in touch with each other?