Feeling undateable!

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  • #56373 Report


    So – I joined Match and I am finding that the conversation will go as far as when I tell them that I have four kids!
    I love my kids and I wouldn’t change them, and anyone who comes into our life will find them intelligent and funny.
    But it seems to be a problem with a lot of people.
    It’s starting to get me down.

    #56381 Report


    Hi I could have written this, although I don’t have match or do online dating etc I also have 4 children.  I know the right person won’t see it an issue but I definitely feel like I’ll never meet anyone again. I’d not change anything and my children will always be the most important people in my life but it sure gets lonely sometimes x

    #56383 Report


    I’m a full time single dad of one. And I also have the same issues. Unfortunately the world we live in is very fickle. My profile on a dating site also include that i am a parent and yet it appears to be missed when they check out my profile. Once I bring my kid up bang they are gone.

    #56384 Report


    Thats exactly how it is, no one seems to want a proper connection anymore they just want to hook up and not get any deeper than that. It’s frustrating and puts me off

    #56391 Report


    I am sorry you are having a hard time with dating. But I think you are right to be up front about your children, as anyone flaky enough to be scared off needs weeding out quickly. The right person will be worth the wait. I have one child and been single for four years,  I am not interested in anyone who can’t accept that I am a Mum. Good luck, there are good ones out there, you just need to wade through the toads ( and toadettes 😍)

    #56496 Report


    Hi, i’ve been single for 8 years now and I am too  nervous to attempt dating again for the reasons mentioned.

    I think starting out as friends would be better as then there is no pressure.  I live in Hertfordshire and there is no local Gingerbread group, but if there is one near you then that might be a suggestion.

    #56499 Report


    I’m 3 years in and find it so hard. I have two children and they are obviously my world but why is it so hard to find someone who will take you as you are.

    #56501 Report


    I have been on both sides of the fence! In the early 2000’s I was on a dating website as a late 30’s singleton, no children etc. I was more than happy to be involved with a lady who already had children as long as she would have one (at least) with me – I was quite open about this. What I found was that the majority of women I chatted to that already had children were not interested because I had never been a dad, it appeared to me back then that they were looking for someone like them. A divorced dad who had children of their own etc… Anyway I met a partner online, she did not have but wanted children. We followed the normal course of a relationship and got married after a couple of years and have 3 children together.

    Single again (since 2017) but now as a dad full time of two girls at the age of 57. I am finding that ladies on the dating sites run for the hills as soon as they find that I am a full time dad and they only see their mother in school holidays (Ex moved to Northern Ireland with our son), the other issue being that they have raised their children and don’t want to be (in their eyes) raising mine, though I am certainly not looking for a mother to my girls who are now 14/12 yrs, I don’t need a mother for my children I need all the good things that come from being in a loving relationship.

    I go through phases of being active online dating but have not met anyone past a first date (either their or my choice). Be it POF, Tinder or Bumble! One thing I don’t often do is pay for the memberships. They do work though, an ex army mate of mine stayed with me for a while last year after splitting up with his ex. I introduced him to online dating and he had a great time, finally meeting a lady he is now in a relationship with, what I wasn’t initially aware of was that he is alcoholic and suffers from PTSD, they have had some strife because of that but seem to be working it out. She is a divorced mum of two young ones. I wish them luck!

    It did make me focus a little on me and what I want, basically I have moved a lot over the years and the children had been in 5 primary schools in 3 countries, I am not moving from where I am now so it is a very limited area that I look in, I am not moving from the house I am in so it is unlikely that I will meet someone with children as there is no room to move in together, well unless / until my girls fly the nest. So I see myself as currently un-datable, I have accepted that and just get on with my life though of course it doesn’t mean that I am often lonely. Hey ho, that’s life!

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