Feeling so hurt and abandoned

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  • #36678 Report

    Kimberlina
    Participant

    On New Year’s Day, I found emails between my husband and one of his work colleagues detailing their love affair throughout my treatment for breast cancer. He has now moved out into a flat nearby so he can still see our 17 year old daughter, who has Aspergers. After going through chemo and radiotherapy, I am now having to run the whole house, look after a very old labrador, so I have to sleep downstairs on the sofa bed, and am so devastated by my husband’s betrayal. I feel so repulsive looking because I have barely any hair and so embaressed by his rejection of me, which he says happened because his feelings changed and he became my ‘carer’. But he was actually really neglectful of me during my treatment. I would stay in hospital to try and give him a break, but he was just going off to see this other woman. I just wondered if anyone had any words of advice on how to get through this heartbreak. He ran up huge debts and even took a loan out in my name during my chemo, which I didn’t know about. 18 years of marriage, and he is so cold about it all, the old ‘I just want to be friends’ deal. I am just so heartbroken,

    #36680 Report

    Winnie7465
    Participant

    What a courageous person you are and what a lousy thing for your husband to do to you.  That’s me putting it very politely I know but believe me I could think of a lot stronger words to describe him.  I can’t imagine what that must have been like but he is so not worth it.  What happened to “In sickness and in health” Sounds like he didn’t give it,or you a second thought.  How is your health now?

    Also, do you have family and friends there for support?

     

    #36722 Report

    Kimberlina
    Participant

    Hi Winnie7465, Thank you so much for replying. I am waiting on next scan for results, hoping for all clear for now. I have a nasty type of cancer, so have to hope it doesn’t return. I don’t know why he has turned so nasty and uncaring. He just says the cancer changed his feelings for me. I have family and friends on text and phone, but no one near. My daughter is self-harming all the time, and is devastated her father won’t come home. I have tried to explain he loves someone else and his feelings have changed. But it is so hard for her to understand. I am massively appreciative of you being so kind. Thank you.

    #36726 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    This is really heart breaking. Am so sorry to hear this. You just need a pamper and I hope that someone can give you some time to gather your thoughts.

    What about a day out with your daughter somewhere different? I know the weather is crap but hope you have the energy to get through thus. Don’t waste your tears over someone who has betrayed you and as for that disgusting woman karma always shows up in some form

    #36736 Report

    Winnie7465
    Participant

    No problem Kimberlina. That’s one of the things this forum is great for, is the support from others and sharing experiences. Happy to chat any time.

    #36787 Report

    Kimberlina
    Participant

    Hi Sherinam,

    Thank you so much for your really kind message of support. I keep trying to remind myself of karma. I just can’t believe a woman could be so cruel to another woman. My daughter and me are working hard to support each other as much as possible. Bless her, she is so heartbroken as well. The fact the other woman has a six year old son means she thinks she has been replaced. It is all very hard and messages like yours really help. Thank you x

    #36788 Report

    Kimberlina
    Participant

    Thank you 🙂 I really appreciate that. This forum is really helping me find some light in the darkness.

    #36789 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    Some people are just dogs so keep that in your mind!!

    I  not that judgemental but you have been so poorly and I thought that women supported one another through stuff like this. They are both disgusting!!!!

    #36791 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    Absolutely as Sherinam said above some people are just  that wsy and their behaviour says a lot more about them…  true colours and all that.  Dont waste yiur time thinking about people lile that or try to understsnd why….sometimes things are very simple and they just lack compassion, pity them, and stay strong….you have overcome great hardship despite their actions. You will triumph through this in the end and you will enjoy life again.

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