31 March 2020 at 6:49 pm #38576
just looking that I’m not on my own at the minute because I feel like I am. Back story my husband leaft me and I found out earlier in the year that he is now in a relationship with my best friend who was there with me through all the breakup. I had problems with stress and now with all this lockdown because of the coronavirus I feel like I’m going crazy. He comes round to take the kids out for there exercise but he is lieing to me and the kids about where he is staying. He said he is staying at his brothers but he is really staying at my ex best friends house which is literally round the corner from me. Maybe it’s too much time to think but I’m feeling so overwhelmed and alone and like I can’t handle it. Any advice would be much appreciated. I’ve been leaft with 3 kids 10, 5 and 231 March 2020 at 7:01 pm #38577
I do hope you are okay. Marital break up is devastating enough without being put in lockdown too. It’s perfectly normal to feel like this and in time it will get better.
I was there about 10 years ago. I literally felt as if someone had picked up my life, torn it into pieces and thrown them up in the air. Terrifying! This is some of the better advice I got at the time
– if you want to try and have a reconciliation try a bit of distance first (I guess corona takes care of that one) and then counselling
– if your decide to go for divorce get a lawyer to relieve some of the emotional stress, of dealing with all your feelings as well as all the financial practicalities . One of my brothers advised this and it was really helpful. It is expensive mind you, so , as you get stronger, try to deal with matters more independently. One of my friends got me to estimate the value of shared assets and then got me to budget legal meeting and the cost of any disputes with my ex to a sensible level.
– get your shopping delivered (my other brother) to take one job away. Great advice but , I don’t fancy your chances for a few months!!
– take your time and don’t be rushed or pushed into any big decisions. It’s about getting things right for the future for your kids
– start planning some of the new things you want to do and , when we are out of ,lockdown, aim to have at least one night a fortnight OUT of the house being yourself
You will get there. It takes time. Let your friends help and let yourself get stronger day by day.
You’ve got this – you’ll be great!
Becky x1 April 2020 at 9:34 pm #38613
Hi! Can’t believe how similar out situation is! Same thing happened to me a couple of months ago. As if a breakup isn’t bad enough, coronavirus has given us too much time to over think everything and I too feel overwhelmed. On my worst days I genuinely feel I can’t go on. I keep asking the same question ‘when will I get over this betrayal?’ I know it’s early days but I don’t want to feel like this. My children deserve better. They stay with me and Dad visits once or twice a week. The best advice I got was from a friend who said that only someone who has been through this kind of betrayal truly understands.
Thank you for sharing your stories it really helps ♥️1 April 2020 at 10:49 pm #38615
thank you it’s awful isn’t it I feel more annoyed because I’m on my own with the kids can’t even see my parents yet he is still going round to her and getting more time with her because of all this and I’m on my own with the kids. (And I’m not supposed to know my 10 year old told me and she doesn’t want me to say anything to me) And then I think we’ll I have the kids he has to hang around her he has no one else. I feel that too I’m sick of this betrayal hurting me but feel i want karma to come to them quick as well. But today I thought I’ve had enough and I sat and wrote a pros and cons list of him when he was at home and surprisingly the cons well out weighed the pros and it made me realise he really didn’t treat me right and what’s she got all the rubbish really because he won’t change for her. He can just move onto her because he is comfortable with her. And it made me feel better and know when the time is right I will meet someone who will treat me the way I’m meant to be treated. I hope can see some light at the tunnel soon we all defiantly deserve it