Feeling overwhelmed

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  • #53895 Report

    Lisa1983
    Participant

    It seems my marriage is over, husband said on Sunday that he doesn’t feel we can fix our marriage and we’d be happier if we seperate.

    im devastated, I haven’t told anyone other than work as I can’t stop crying.

    I’m still just trying to process it all.

    #53908 Report

    Joanna79
    Participant

    How many children do you have and have you supportive family.

    Many of us have been through this and come out the other side. Getting through one day is an achievement at this stage so that’s the priority, just one day at a time.

    #53910 Report

    Lisa1983
    Participant

    I have 1 little girl who’s nearly 6, I’m dreading the conversation with her and trying to explain.

    I have some family and friends but not nearby but feel such a failure right now and don’t want to tell anyone, 20 years we’ve been together 😢

    #53954 Report

    Shimmy
    Participant

    Hi Lisa1983,

    It’s an indescribable pain, feelings of total shock, lost and heartache. It does get easier in time.
    Take each day as it comes. 20 years with someone is a long time.
    Do you think marriage counselling would work?
    Btw you’re not failure! Talk to your family or a close friend. Don’t bottle up these feelings.

    Happy to connect if you need someone to talk to x

     

    #53959 Report

    Lisa1983
    Participant

    Thank you, I’m just numb. We had tried a bit of marriage counselling but I kinda felt he just played lip service, said all right things in session. It’s been hard as during covid we’ve not been able to try do things like date nights etc but I’m still willing to try but he feels we’ve tried enough.

     

    #53961 Report

    Shimmy
    Participant

    Covid has made things so hard! Although, places are starting to open up again.
    I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. I’ve been through it and it hurt so much. But guess what….. I’m still here, and I’m still standing.
    Lisa1983 you will be just fine. If he’s not willing to work and save the marriage it’s will be his loss in the end. Hoping it doesn’t come to that though.
    Keep going and stay strong…. take it one day at a time….

    #53982 Report

    Lisa1983
    Participant

    I keep getting the Elton John song in my head 😀

    We’ve not really talked again since he said it and this weekend has been hard as we’ve had a “normal” time, then I keep thinking maybe he’s changed his mind which I know will upset me more.

    I said that too him about things opening and trying a bit longer but he said no we’ve tried long enough!

    at least I’ve work today to help focus my mind on something

     

     

    #54009 Report

    Shimmy
    Participant

    Haha 😆 Thanks now I’ve the Elton John song going on…..

    Sometimes it’s good to keep busy take your mind of the situation.
    Well, at the end of the day it’s up to him if he’s willing to throw away 20yrs! He’s got to want to make it work as much as you. Otherwise, you will be just walking on eggshells trying to please him. And that’s no way to live…. believe me!

    #54018 Report

    Lisa1983
    Participant

    We had another talk last night as over the weekend I guess I was reading false hope into things so he’s made it very clear it’s over!
    So more emotional today 😭

    #54024 Report

    Missykins
    Participant

     

    I feel for you, my relationship is failing after a year and I really don’t know how to save it.  My daughters behaviour is the main cause.

    I left my daughters dad (4 &. 6 years old) 3 years ago and relationships really are hard work.  Finally found myself someone good this time too.

    Do you have somewhere to move to?  Feeling unloved is some destroying, keep strong  xxxx

    #54038 Report

    Lisa1983
    Participant

    Yeah strangely it’s how I probably put our daughter 1st for things that he doesn’t like, I still sleep with her if she’s upset in the night etc which I don’t see an issue with but obviously big issue for him.

     

    im sorry missykins, yes seems relationships get much harder when children are involved.

    I have no idea where I want to live at present so just trying to do pros and cons list

    #54045 Report

    Nicki44
    Participant

    Hi Lisa1983

    it is one of the worst feelings ever isn’t it,I was with my partner for 29 years and have 3 children and he went off with someone else at the beginning of the year I’m still struggling now,The last few days o seem to be going backwards just cant stop crying…There is so much he has done and changed so much,my children haven’t seen or spoken to him for 6 weeks now because they hate what he has done and all the lies he has told them and me.

    stay strong and just take each day as it comes.Im here if you want to chat

    #54058 Report

    Shimmy
    Participant

    So what is he suggesting Lisa1983? Is he going to move out or does he expect you and your daughter to move?
    What are his intentions?
    My ex moved out while I was at work. No note or nothing. I soon realised he wasn’t coming back when the joint account was cleared too.
    I cried myself to sleep most nights. Then the anger kicked in and the crying became less. Overtime I realised he wasn’t worth my upset or anger.
    The children and I are now thriving without him and he hates it 😉

    #54059 Report

    Lisa1983
    Participant

    Oh my goodness Shimmy that’s terrible, what a shock that must have been!

    We have our money seperate always have so luckily he can’t shaft me.

    so glad you are doing better now.

    We are currently in hertfordshire we moved just before covid as he was working up here but I’m from devon and need to think if it’s best for me to move back there to be around my friends etc for more support

    #54094 Report

    Shimmy
    Participant

    Yes that makes sense. Devon is beautiful! Family and good friends for moral support #priceless

    At the time it was awful but It’s surprising how strong you can be. I feel like the fog has now lifted and I can see clearly again. In life you have choices…. either you choose to stay stagnant or keep on moving forward….. Forward it is then 😊

    I have good days and bad days. The good days far outweigh the bad now. It’s a process x

    Lisa1983, I think you’re going to be alright 😊

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)

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