Feeling low

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Ramblinjon 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #22765 Report

    Hrm
    Participant

    Hi. I’ve just joined. Ives been a single parent for 7 years but have had relationships in that time. One was for 4 years and he lived with us and did the whole step dad thing. I loved him very much and thought we would be together forever. He was an alcoholic and had mental health problems – I had to ask him to leave in the end. I’ve got two kids 11 and 13 and work full time. I have been alone now for 18 months and the loneliness is setting in. I don’t feel I have capacity in any sense to have a relationship. I can’t imagine risking letting a man in to our lives. But I am starting to feel very low. I don’t know why I’m writing this really, feels silly. I don’t want a relationship but I feel like I’m only half alive in a way. But I can’t stomach the thought of being with someone. But I have a sadness inside and I don’t want to feel like this forever. Anyone else out there feeling the same?

    #22781 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Difficult, isn’t it.

    my son is 10 and I’ve promised myself I’ll look for a new relationship when he is 16, and not before.

    I get a bit lonely sometimes but I make sure I build up my social life in other ways. Get to know more people, so when I am looking, there will be more choice.And I window shop 😀 OLD.

    #22858 Report

    Sc1
    Participant

    Im the same. I had past realationships but it doesnt last .im not looking for a realationship at the moment but would like some company (male).i feel so lonely aswell as im looking for work.

    #22903 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    I’m writing here for the first time in around 3 years because I am sadly feeling pretty much the same.

    I’ve been a single full time dad for around 11 years, my boy is now 13, I have had a couple of fairly long term relationships in that time and the last one finished around 3 years ago. I’ve been quite happy single up until a year or so ago where I started to feel as though something was missing from my life, I came across more and more situations where I felt ‘wow it would be great to share this with a partner’, it could be big things, real life events yet its also the little things, waking up holding next to someone and having breakfast together, going bloody shopping even, I miss holding someone’s hand. I like to cook and love variety but my boy has simple tastes so I find myself wanting to eat a certain dish yet I don’t either its because I cant get the ingredients for one or its just too much of a pain in the butt to cook 2 separate meals and wash up 2 lots of cooking stuff just so I can have something different. My singledom wasn’t bothering me too much though, it was a irritation, it was a pang, a longing that sprang out of nowhere and faded away after a while, a dream of romance that disturbs me incredibly when I wake to find the other side of the bed is still empty but again when I got on with my day the acute loneliness faded.

    It helps that I work although I work in so many different ways that I’m not grounded in a particular job, my business is as a mechanic but I’m also a maintenance man for a large property, a builder(I had a building company, my qualified trade is as a carpenter, I had to give it up when I became a full time dad), a gardener and I also look after old folk sometimes. I’ve also just qualified as a taxi driver so I can earn extra money on the evenings when my boy is with his mum.

    I live in a quiet village, I like the peace, I like going for a couple of beers in my local where I’m known and where I know folk. A few weeks ago a new lass started behind the bar, without any prompting from me when she finished her shift she would often come and join me for a couple before she went home, a couple of Saturdays ago we were drinking together and one thing lead to another and she invited me home, obviously I accepted, we had a lovely night, we woke and spent time together in the morning and I was over the moon, especially when she asked to see me again that night, it didn’t happen and hasn’t happened since apart from a sneaky kiss and cuddle, my gut said nope…something not right here, a few days later I was proved right in that the girl admitted that I was just a bit of fun but no relationship would come of it, she had lead me down the garden path, used me. That’s fine, Im p***ed off about it but I’m a big boy and that’s life, it didn’t help that it ended when she arranged with me(her suggestion) a Chinese takeaway night after she finished work, I waited for her to finish only for her to cop off with someone else in the pub and totally blank me. Hey ho.

    What that horrible experience has brought up though is that I’m not made to be alone, I’m not too angry about the girl(best I find out now) although my loneliness is now gut wrenching I believe that there is someone out there for all of us and sometimes we all just need to bide our time because someone will come around the corner one day that fills that empty hole in our lives.

     

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by  GingerbreadJustine. Reason: Moderators note: I have removed the name and location of the pub as it is possible to publicly identify the person you are talking about
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