Feeling lost and hopeless

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  • #14941 Report


    Hi everyone I’m new to the group and I’m looking for some advice please

    I’ve been a long term relationship 12 years now but past 2 years I feel really unhappy been in the relationship. We dont sleep in the same bed and havent done for months as hed rather sleep on the sofa. Sex life is literally dead…. And has been for a very long time. I’m not in love with him anymore.. we used to be best friends.

    I’ve tried so many times just to keep the peace but I want out now for the sake of my children boy 6 and girl 3. He is the father to my children has been very cruel and nasty towards me and I’m wanting to leave. He’s not violent or anything like that. But I feel like he puts me down too often blames me for everything that goes wrong. Flips his head at thr sillest things.

    He works but doenst have any time social time for his children. Hed rather sit and watch tv and drink and sleep. I want to leave our rental home. I want better for myself and my children. My Contract is due to end in October this year. But I have no family to turn too that I can move into. I just want to leave. He won’t move out and my landlord won’t accept me with having any benefits also the rental is too much for me to afford on my own. As I work part time and I couldn’t afford it in my own. I’m very much happy to leave but what and where do I go…? Will the council help me? My daughter is 3 and has many disabilites. Recieves dla. I’ve left many times for 5 to 8 days 3 times already this year and shared my sister’s bedroom with my children. Her house is very small. Her daughter and her daughter’s bf live there too.  And it’s not something I could do on a long term basis.

    Feeling rather lost and not in a good place. Constantly feeling like I’m not a good mum staying in this unhappy home. I want better for my children. All I want is a happy live any hear my children laugh and be children. Life is too short.

    Any advice would be very much appreciated


    Thanks for reading xx

    #14944 Report


    Sorry you are having such a difficult time . It sounds like you are doing the right thing in getting out of this situation. It’s not good for anyone when a relationship is making you miserable. Can you start by talking to citizens advice to get some idea of what financial support you’d get?Once you know that then you can start making firmer plans.

    Take care x

    #14994 Report


    I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this Nead81. Definitely see citizens advice or call the Gingerbread helpline for information on any support you can get.

    For what it’s worth, you sound like an excellent mother and you are making a decision for your children’s sake and a very brave and strong decision at that. Chin up and this forum is a useful way to vent/share anything x

    #15037 Report


    Hi. I’m new to a forum and also newly single mother. In similar situation still leaving under same roof but can no longer take emotional abuse and threats. We share ownership of the house but I just want to get out to rental property for the sake of the child and my sanity. Can he stop me of doing it? We not married. Sorry for using you thread to share my story. Thank you to all for your support.

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