Feeling lost

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  • #42744 Report


    I’m new to this forum.

    Hubby told me our relationship was over on Monday.

    We have been married 18 years and have 3 kids.

    He told me he does not love me and has been chatting to other females online.

    He has currently moved out and is living in a caravan on our driveway but comes into the house whenever he feels he wants.

    I am absolutely gutted and am in bits as this came as a total shock.

    I don’t know what to do as he wants to be civil with me when in the house but I am so broken and angry.

    I only work 6 hours a week so have z very small income and rely solely on his.

    How do I move forward?



    #42751 Report


    Hello Sunnyside,

    what you have written Is spot on nearly to what has happened to me. I am exactly in the same condition. I’ve been married 15 years 3 children 10,6 & 2 he left last week and didn’t even tell me. I don’t work and we was the sole earner. I have been going through so many emotions, I feel lost, confused and beyond hurt. I feel like my whole life has been turned over. He said a lot of horrible things which has left me feeling with low confidence. I know I got to carry on and smile for my children, my youngest is playing up and I’m finding it all so overwhelming she’s constantly asking for daddy. He didn’t even bother to call on her birthday. His already moved on and it’s only been 10days, his like you will never find anyone or happiness your a single mum with 3 children. I feel like I have given a whole lifetime into this marriage and now I don’t know who I am or how I will carry on.

    #42753 Report


    I am with you.

    13 years married/ 20 years together. We have 3 children (11,9,8) and he has spent the last 10 years picking me up whenever I broke down due to depression. I would push at him when ever he went out, expecting him to leave me for someone else. The crunch came when I reacted badly to messages from a girl at his work. I read his phone and didmt like them. He explained them and explained how I misunderstood it but this girl messaged him a lot. He said he had enough of my insecurities and the wearing him down and the fact I had issues over things that shouldn’t be an issue. He ended things and has started divorce proceedings.

    We are still living in the same house, I am an emotional wreck. Over the last few months I have self harmed, tried to kill myself and lowered myself to begging him to stay. I know it’s over because he watches me crying my heart out and doesn’t do a thing about it. I can’t even hide my feelings from the children.

    We have an anexx attached to our house which is free as of September so one of us is moving into that but I am kidding myself. It won’t be far enough away, I still love him so badly that I told him I would look the other way if he wanted someone else.

    He has told me that there is no one else.

    He was my first real relationship, I haven’t been dumped before.

    The kids are confused.

    I am at the point that I nearly walked away from them all. I truly believe that they would be better off with their dad anyway.

    My mind is all over the place and I never knew breakups hurt like this.

    #42757 Report

    Hi CmacP

    I am sorry you are going through this.  It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time.  I will be messaging you with some signposting so please keep an eye out for my message.

    Kind regards, Justine

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