Feeling Lost

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  • #36931 Report


    I have put myself in a mess…. I seperated from my husband 2 years ago but we are only just starting the divorce process as he was not co-operative before. After we split I moved in my with parents. In the meantime I started a new relationship with a man who is resident in France. I am now 5months pregnant (which I am happy about as I had been told it wasn’t biologically possible, hence part of the reason my marriage ended!!)…

    Long story short, my new partner will/can not support us, so I am on my own. My parents are not pleased with the situation and told me that I can stay for maternity leave if neccessary but then they want me to move on- they are eldery and not really well, so a newborn thrust on them is hard to take.

    I work full time in a professional role, but my monthly wages are not enough to cover rent/living costs on my own plus childcare cost on top. I’m not rich enough to access housing schemes like Shared Ownership, but it seems I’m not poor enough to access benefits either! I spoke to the council who said that as my parents are here then I can’t apply for council housing unless they throw us on the streets and I turn up to the homeless unit. My parents refuse to do it this way, because it hurts them.

    I never claimed benefits in my life, so I find everyone so confusing. If I moved into a rented accommodation now, would I then be able to access housing support? I don’t want to move and not be able to keep up with payments. Also can you claim tax credits just for your maternity period when your income is lower?

    I’m not sleeping thinking about what can I do. I understand that I am lucky to be working, but same time it seems that is making my situation worse! Its all so confusing 😔



    #36941 Report


    Hi there, try not to worry, there is excellent help available. I would recommend making an appointment with Citizens Advice Bureau to discuss benefits, housing and money. You should allow around 1-2 hours for your appointment.

    In terms of childcare, if your parents are unable to help, do you have friends you can set up a childcare network with? Or an Au pair is very reasonable if you were to work full time and rent a property with three bedrooms. Just a few suggestions!

    #36974 Report



    This is exactly what the gingerbread helpline is for, the advisors are fully trained to help you in this situation, you can find the helpline number under contact us below.


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