Feeling loneliness

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  • #62120 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    hey there,

    hope you are doing well.

    I don’t really know how to start and sharing my story but I’ve to say, I’m in tears while I’m writing this for you!

    lost everything and everyone! I’m a single father and divorced three years ago. My ex wife decided give our son to me and now I don’t want to talk about all difficulties I’ve had to raise my dear son. My issue is loneliness! My girlfriend move on with another guy easily! Why on earth I have to be on this terrible situation without any friends.

    I divorced because of me and I had no good days with my ex. She wasn’t the one , she was a wrong person without any investing on me and our son. I thought I can start a better days with my girlfriend yet she made me sad again!

    why?

    of course bc of fu..king money and better opportunities!

    It’s so sad to lost everything isn’t?

    these days I’ll try to get better, I’ll try to forget her! But why on earth I can’t get her out of my mind?

     

    #62249 Report

    GingerbreadHelen
    Keymaster

    Hi Ali,saa, I hope you get some replies soon. Meanwhile, have a look and see if there are any Gingerbread groups near you. Single parent groups – Gingerbread

    #62266 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    Thanks Helen 

    I’ll check it

    #62315 Report

    Jsmoove
    Participant

    Hi Ali,it’s completely normal to feel lonely mate after a divorce,even a few years later,it makes it hard when your ex moves on so fast mine did,even though I had no feelings for her it’s still played on my mind alot,I kept myself busy with my children and hobbies and in time you will stop thinking about her,I built a really good support network around me and that helped alot,I lost everything as well,but I gave my ex the house as my kids need a roof over their heads,but you know what I’m more happier now having nothing and being married to someone who made me feel like I was nothing for years,enjoy being a dad mate kids grow up so fast,in time things will get better and you never know you might meet that special person who completes you

    #62317 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi Ali. I know exactly how you are feeling.
    After 20+ years of marriage my 3 kids mother decided to go it alone. I now have the kids. At the start I was scared, frustrated and angry. I couldn’t stop hurting. Sleepless nights. It was terrible. However 3 years on I’m at peace with it all.The kids are doing well that’s all what matters. You have to stay strong for your young one. At the moment you will feel that it won’t get better but I promise you it will. Please reach out to me if you wish to.
    I’ve been there and got through it.
    stay strong.
    Peter.

    #62331 Report

    TxRedneckUK
    Participant

    Hi Ali.ssa

    I know how you feel. I got divorced in 2009 and have 2 of my 3 girls at home now but a year after I was divorced I found a great woman but sadly in 2019 she was taken from me by breast cancer. I have tried moving on and even dating sites but have came across an old problem that I faced back after I got divorced. I have came across women who seem to think that a guy who says he is a single dad is a liar and a cheat cause they think NO MAN GETS CUSTODY of the children. I even got banned from PoF cause a “lady” in Broadway Worcestershire told me if I was a single dad and I wanted to date her I had to get rid of my F’ing kids. I sent her a 3 word reply that got me banned.. (I am sure you know the 3 words). Oh my girls are 25 (special needs), 19, and 16. 25 & 16 are still home and 19yr old lives in an assisted living centre in Worcester as she is fighting mental illness due to brain damage(and she is now pregnant so I am going to be a grandpa again for the 7th time..I have 3 sons too).

    I feel useless at times but when I see my 2 girls smiling I know its worth it.  So don’t give up. I have another single dad here in Evesham where I live who fights not only being a single dad but a muslim single dad who I have known for 16 years since his girl was born and we talk several times a week and we both laugh at the problems we face and he knows that if anybody was to hurt his girl I will be there for the butt stomping party too just like he would be if mine got hurt lol.

    If you need to chat to someone I am here. Us single dads need to stick together 😀

     

    JW

    #62399 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    Hello @jsmoove

    Appreciate of your kind message. You know what, it feels really great to understand that you aren’t alone on this difficulties! It is a huge sacrifice to get them your house but you did the right thing for your kids, people always concerned about women but what about men? We are human too, we got feelings too and it hurts when you see yourself alone on this! I never had any experience to take care of my son, never, even at first it was so difficult to get my son out of diapers but I did finally.

    You said you’re more happier when you are on your own and I believe it’s true! Being with some who makes you feel nothing is catastrophic.

    My ex wife was so controlling and we had so many struggles when we were together, all I wanted was a normal life with one right and kind person but she wasn’t.

    Now I want to be a good and kind dad for my son and I also want to be a good person for myself, a happy man without any worries, that’s what I want to be.

    Thanks mate for your words.

    Ali

    #62400 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    Hello @peterD

    Allow me to thank you for your message.

    I’m so happy to hear you are all good and doing well. Frustrated and angry are the exact feelings I have now but mostly I’m angry for what I’m going through!

    Every day I watched many motivational videos but it’s so difficult to pull myself together. I am thinking about my ex girlfriend every moment of my day but as you said it gets better gradually. The key point here is accepting that they are gone for ever,it’s my reality right now!

    BTW, thank you very much for your message

    Ali

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