Feeling harassed

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  • #10132 Report


    I am currently going through divorce proceedings with my ex of 22 years and finding it a very difficult and emotional time. My anxiety levels are through the roof but I’m trying to keep it together for the sake of the children. As if this time wasn’t stressful enough I am being harassed by his family over the children’s savings! His mother has given both approx £5k as their inheritance, which is currently in accounts that I operate. This money was given early so it could not be classed as part of her estate??? I have also managed the family’s finances and will always put the children first. His family are now demanding that I return this money to them. Apparently I may at some point in the future find a new partner that will hold me by gun point to withdraw the children’s money (their actual words to me, although it is my ex who is having an affair with someone who is bankrupt – surely that’s more of a real risk to the children’s money?!). As far as I’m concerned the money belongs to the children and I will abide by the wishes that they can’t access it until they are 21. There is still £5k of his mothers legacy to be given to the children and I have suggested that my ex set up accounts that he operates for this money. I thought this was a reasonable request as surely any perceived risk would then be split 50/50.

    He has been particularly aggressive over this issue and unfortunately his family have now jumped on board as well. His sister turned up unannounced at my house last night, just as I was taking the children out, and was screaming and shouting at me to give the money back to their mother. I have been accused of making their mother ill and that I am despicable and a failure! The worst thing was that she was refusing to leave my house. I felt the whole situation very intimidating and this is not the first time she has turned up to have a go at me. She even parks down the street so I can’t see the car to know it’s her at the door. It’s so out of hand that me and the children are no living with curtains closed at the front of the house so they can’t tell whether we are home or not.

    Anyone be in a similar situation? I don’t know what to do!!!

    #10134 Report


    Hi there,

    They are trying to intimidate you.

    The money was a gift so therefore belongs to the children. Perhaps you could secure it in a long term investment for your children so they receive it upon the age of maturity?

    You don’t have to put up with the sister screaming at you. I would take some initial free legal advice on what to do.

    The matter regarding the money isn’t a police matter but the verbal abuse is.

    I had problems with my ex and my solicitor advised me to contact the police who have specialist officers who deal in threatening family matters.

    The police came and interviewed me for about 1 hour and were great.

    I did have an Occupation order also.

    I really wish you the very best. Please let us know how you get on.

    Jamiebear xx

    #10135 Report


    Simples. The money was a gift to the children – if they want to claim it back they have to take you to a small claims court and they will FAIL. The intimidation must be reported to the police as it happens. Don’t live with your curtains closed. Really, that’s it. PM me if you think I can help further.

    #10138 Report


    Thank you Empty and Jamiebear. I’ve been uncertain about contacting the police as I didn’t want to be dismissed as over-reacting but between my ex being verbally aggressive (one of the grounds of divorce) and now this behaviour from his sister and threats that his mum is going to turn up as well, I seriously don’t feel comfortable in my own home.

    Sorry for my ignorance but what’s an occupation order?

    #10141 Report


    An Occupation order is granted by the Court. Normally, it’s hoped that the order will be made by consent. Otherwise you will have to attend Court.

    The order will confirm who can live at the property, when others such as your ex may attend the property but most importantly for you, it will ensure that you live peacefully.

    The order can be made an arrestable warrant. So if he breeches the order then he’ll be arrested. The order will state this, also saying that they can face prison.

    My order cost me about £1000. It’s a lot but it saved me. You won’t get legal aid for this cost, ie it’s self funded.

    You seem to be in the position I was 2.5 years ago. Please message me if I can help.

    In the meantime please contact the police. Also, I know it seems awful now but I promise you things will get better.

    Best wishes



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