Feeling finding things hard

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    Hell, I am a single mum of 4 (yes 4 children) 3 boys, ages 11 (soon to be 12), 10 years and 7 years and a 3 your old girl. I had to give my job of 15 years up to look after my children full time, no get away, no time on my own or with friends (not that we would’ve got much anyway because of coronavirus) no day off from being mum no nothing just pushed & pulled in we different direction you can think of. I don’t drive(never have done) The closest shop is like a 3 mile walk just there so all in all like a 6/7 miles just to get a paint of milk. It was very hard to leave my job as I just walked into it years back got handed a top and was told to go on the shop floor to which I did.I loved my job, 1st I have signed to universal credit as needed to put food on the table (which is I really do and I still struggle have to rely on food parcels) it’s all so very hard

    #56583 Report

    Cariad63
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    I hear you! I had 3 at first they were 8/7/4, though I just about managed to keep working with the help of friends. Some times it’s like ground hog day! Universal Credit worked for me as it is a lot more flexible with regard to working a few hours or full time. You have paid your taxes and NI for stuff like UC – make the most of it! The 85% refund of child care costs worked well for me as well, though be careful as the maximum is £1060 ish whether 2 or 4 children. Any maintenance you get is not included in your income for UC calculations.

    I found rule setting and bribery worked to give me some space – as in bed time is… and woe betide any child that disturbed that and on a Saturday or Sunday I had a lie in, if I was undisturbed until 9am there would be some kind of reward etc.

    One “punishment” I found worked well when they were squabbling was that they had to stand and face each other until each had said 3 things that they like about their sibling – defused the situation and after a few times just the threat of it stopped the argument.

    The other thing that made a huge difference for me was getting a housing association house, I had been privately renting a 2 bed flat, it was costing £1000 a month, I needed a 3 bed but could not afford the £1600 a month it would cost in this area. I applied to the council, got on the list and 6 months later got a 3 bed house that is costing me £560. It has made a huge difference in our lives. Good luck.

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