Feeling down, lonely & don't know what to do

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    Not sure where to start or what I expect to gain from this or where this is going but here goes  ….

    I have been separated from my 5 year olds dad for just over two years, it wasn’t the best relationship and although I was heartbroken at the time I can see we weren’t right and we are happier apart.

    At the time of splitting up I wasnt working, we were struggling but getting by, so once I was on my own I went to work for my sister,  she couldnt pay me properly but I wasnt in the right place to get a job (no confidence/self esteem) and it was flexible to work round nursery/school times, so I have been surviving on tax credits and the bit of money she could pay me.  Anyway, I think the past two years of just surviving/existing has caught up with me and we had a bit of a moment at work and I just broke down and went home.

    Following this no-one in my family has asked or checked up on me to see if I am ok (I feel like I am having a mini breakdown or something) feeling very emotional, crying lots, just not knowing what to do next, I feel like I have just been abandoned . For the past two weeks I have dropped my daughter at school, come home and either slept or just sat on the sofa til its time to pick her up, I have managed to go to the shop but it feels like a huge mission.

    I just feel like I have no purpose, no future plans or anything and I don’t know what to do, my daughter is with her dad today and I haven’t even been out the house or spoken to anyone because I really don’t feel like it.


    To add onto this I met someone online, going really well, loved spending time together when we could , making plans to do things (bit of a distance I am in Doncaster he is in Nottingham) then over the past two weeks he has not been himself, he has loads of stress with work issues, sorting his marital home out and all whilst living with his stepdad (who has OCD) then he has started having panic attacks which have affected his work and also him seeing his daughters , now he is saying I deserve better and his is no good to anyone, is a failure and bad news (which is not true, hes a good bloke) , its a complete flip to how it has been I do believe its the stress and and the worry that is making him feel like it, as it was going so well, so Im not sure how to handle it as Ive only known him a few months but I do care about him and I miss him when Ive not been able to see him, even though its only been a few months it has been quite intense but in a good way.

    Sorry for the long post but any advice on anything is welcome 🙂

    #27684 Report



    I hope you feel a little better after posting that.

    Everyone is different, but personally I would try focus on yourself and the little bit of a breakdown you think you’ve had. Even if your family haven’t been in touch with you, could you contact one of them and let them know how you’re feeling? If not, could you find a friend to talk with or even perhaps go to the doctors and see if they can offer someone to speak to?

    With regards to your partner, it’s a lot for you to be worrying about as well as things in your own life. Personally, I would be tempted to slow things down a bit, say you’re there to support him (and he should with you) and both try sort out the things/stress bothering you.


    Hope you’re ok x

    #27696 Report

    Hi Lucyf

    I’m one of the moderators here.  Just letting you know that I’ll be sending a private message with some signposting options.


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