Hi BoddyD
Yes I am a man, but I have had the exact same feeloings as you some time ago. My wife was my rock, my soul mate, my best friend etc. We had a lovely family with 2 boys. All I ever wanted. There were no signs but just after she turned 40, she changed, she lied, she cheated, she became someone I could not recognise any longer. I went through 2 years of hell trying to keep my family together and then she left.
I was devestated, lost, anxious, clueless what to do and didnt know how I would get through it. The thing is, you do. You will have ups and downs. You will stuggle, there is no getting away from it but you will come out the other side. Everyone says time is a great healer… it is though.
I understand you have the pregnancy and birth etc to go through, which I obviously did not. What I did have though is finding a home, learning a routine and especially only getting to see my children 50% of the time.
Your child can be your strength. The love you will feel when they are born and watching them grow will give you the strength you need.
If there is no reconciliation on the cards, I suggest you make a list. Something you can tick off to show your self you are making progress. I always needed to see I had done something in the right direction for myself and my boys.
There are likely to be support groups near you. Maybe friends and family. Dont isolate yourself and dwell, that will be the worst thing.
Any advice I can give or if you just want a chat…..