Feeling a little ugly & down

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    Raibo
    Participant

    Hi, this going to sound a bit moany, but I am feeling a little down and instead of stewing I thought I would try and seek a little advise or support.  I just joined today, so I hope this message is ok.

    I am a single mum or a gorgeous loving little 4 year old boy and I have been very blessed with a very lovely natured boy, however in the late stages of pregnancy I developed ME, it took me 4 years to get an actual diagnosis, so it’s been hard dealing with it as a newly single mum without real any family or friend support.  I used to be a very fit and healthy woman, I ran and cycled a lot and was always going some kind or exercise.  Since having my son I have become unhealthy because I am completely unable to exercise with this ME.  I have gone from a small size to 10 to a large size 12, might not sound like much but I have had people tell me how fat I am now, or more polite people raise eyebrows when they see me and that lovely comment “haven’t you changed!” I struggle with this as when I was really healthy I never ever judged anyones size or shape, in fact it never was important to me, I just don’t think that is important about someone. Up until recently I have brushed it all aside but since I have no money and can’t afford new clothes and shoes I have been looking worse and worse and the other day I saw my reflection in a shop window and very nearly burst into tears…I just didn’t recognise myself, my hair is long and tatty, my clothes where short ill-fitting, no make up and bad skin, shoes falling apart with holes in.  I thought I had to do something, so got an argos store card and bought myself a few pairs of trousers and some blouses, a cardigan and some boots. I felt a lot better and got dressed in my new clothes as soon as I got home.  i said to my boy that I wanted to pop back down to the shop and get a little make up, maybe some lipstick, now I know this is a silly thing to get upset about, my boy is only 4, but he said that I can’t get any makeup, he said lipstick was only for the pretty mummy’s and I wasn’t pretty enough.  I just burst into floods of tears…I felt terrible for crying in front of my boy, but it just happened! Bless him, he cuddled me and said he was sorry and that I was beautiful.  But he just said what I was feeling and I just feel a bit down now.  I miss exercising, I miss the old, strong, go getter me.  My ME has calmed right down and I cant do most things without feeling too bad, in fact it’s only really the occasional day now but I still cant exercise and I miss it so much.  Just having a bit of a rubbish day I suppose 🙁

    #15758 Report

    Raibo
    Participant

    apologies about my poor grammar above, I am dyslexic (and tired 🙂 )

    #15791 Report

    Hi there Raibo,

    Thank you for sharing your situation on the forum and welcome to our community.

    It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time and it’s important that you feel supported. We hear what you’re saying and you aren’t alone in how you’re feeling. We hope you find the support you need to work things out. Please carry on using the forum if you find it useful. We’re sure that other parents will be able to share useful and supportive advice.

    Take care and thanks again for reaching out.

    Best wishes,

    Jessica

    Gingerbread

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