Feeling a bit lost!

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  • #41902 Report


    Ok so I have been split up with my ex for almost 3 years we have 2 children aged 8 and 11. The last couple of years have been so hard he was very controlling and manipulative which is why I left him and he still hates that he can’t control me. I love my kids and I will do literally anything to keep them happy and I have lost a lot of time with them due to them going to their dads. This thing I’m struggling with is that I have been seeing someone for over a year, he hasn’t met my kids he lives with parents who as far as I know know nothing about me. We have some fun times and I thought I had fallen in love with him but recently I have been feeling really guilty about doing things when the kids aren’t here and I miss them so much. I think I’m sinking a bit and feeling a bit low. My partner is starting to get on my nerves and I think I’m in self sabotage mode because up until recently I was really happy. It bothers me that he’s still living at home yet makes out his life is so hard not really taking into account that I am a single mum who has been through a lot of stress. He can be sensitive and sweet and we get on really well it’s just been little things bothering me. I have tried to talk to him about this but he says he’s happy with how things are.

    i just don’t know what I want. On one hand I love my own space and would not be interested in moving the relationship forward. My kids are my priority obviously but on the other hand I want someone who would be involved with the kids and spend some time with us I just can’t see it happening.
    Am I wanting too much? Am it self sabotaging how can I do anything if I don’t even know what I want! I feel so stressed and alone.

    #41983 Report

    Family Time

    Hello , you need time out to get your thoughts together , of course your children are your world and as he doesn’t really spend time with them he’s not really living in your world , stay true to your hear take how you feel you have a right to express your concerns don’t ever doubt yourself for this , I seem to be on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment my husband left to move in with a women he had ,had one date with and her three children he has ,had no contact through his own choice and set about trying to ruin my reputation I’m here if you ever need to talk but I think you know what the answers are here you just need to believe in yourself x

    #41989 Report


    Hi ya,

    I can only second the first lady follow your heart. Yes your kids are your life and you want someone who will want to be a part of their life too to some degree as they have a dad and don’t need any other one. It’s fine if you just want someone for fun on your own when you don’t have the kids but if you want someone who can spend time with you and the kids so you can do with them too he may not be the man for you. You may need to have a serious talk with him. You cannot keep splitting yourself in two and being miserable it’s not fair for any of you including him and the kids. I’m still single so can’t know what you are going though but after what you have been through you deserve to be happy, no making do will do. Xx

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