Im not entirely sure what gain I will get out of this post? Perhaps more of a way of shouting from the roof tops via this post. I’m constantly up and down, I work full time, I have 3 girls under 10 years old. I am married but have our first hearing next month regarding finance (we have family home & he has a ltd company as assets, I’m sure he won’t be forth coming). Which is probably why I feel the way I do… he took me to child court and that’s finalised now. I’m not happy with the new arrangements but the girls are happy and this order now means he takes more parental responsibility! Financially he’s screwing me.. £6.5k later I’m in debt… I’m not in the family home and I have no clue how I’m going to afford the divorce costs. (I applied for divorce and then around a week later I receive papers for child court applied by him). I hadn’t financed in any additionals but he can afford to do it all. He is financially strickening me, control I guess! I can see this dragging out for years. Mentally I’m at the end of my tether. All I want is freedom. Freedom to be happy and home myself and my girls. I think I left him naively (2yrs ago)… I never once thought he’d do the things he’s done to me which has affects on our children. I’m drained from it all. And I don’t think I can last out all the way through til the end 🙁 he has the financial power, the support, the home, the business. All those years of support I gave him to pursue his dreams and I get left with the crap because I was so consumed by getting ‘out’ and not really knowing the ‘rules’ or consequences and not knowing anybody in my position. I was and I’m still vulnerable..
I think of my girls and my heart breaks for them. A clean break is all we need, but he won’t. He told me he’d drag it out so I’m left with nothing but court fees.
he’s probably right.
thanks for the read, any support is kindly received.
Hey. That is rough and we are all here for you if you ever need a chat on FB messenger or wherever. Some times it helps to just write a message like that and blow off steam ya know? You keep focusing on those wonderful girls and know that itll be a bumpy ride but you’ll get through it in the end for them
Sounds like he is going for child access and raking up your savings so you don’t go after his assets.
Let him have access but add sections so they are on your terms, ie not allowed to introduce girlfriend, mustn’t smoke, can’t leave them with anyone, time 9-3, collect and drop off addresses, add anything which makes you worried. If he doesn’t stick to it, apply for a variation.
My partner hides his income but I’m back working and also work from home so we manage. Are you a shareholder of his company? You may find he added you as a partner, or director for tax reasons, check companies house and see as this will put you in a much better position.
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, put your shoulders back, take deep breaths and start using your brain, be one step ahead of them and start being CLEVER!