Fearing the nights

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Viewing 11 posts - 31 through 41 (of 41 total)
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  • #47720 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    one thing to watch out for is screen time right before bed will make things worse for you, and make it harder to fall asleep. time for me to check out lol.

     

    good night all

    #47721 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    My last post looks a bit aggressive that enlarged yellow text,not sure how that hpnd,there’s enough drama round here already.

    #47725 Report

    Carry
    Participant

    Sorry to hear you’re experiencing this. I know how you feel. I’m the same. I can’t get to sleep at night and then after a couple of hours I wake up panicking, usually after a nightmare. I have 2 young children I have full time… So I’m desperate for a decent night’s sleep. It’s like a horrible cycle I can’t get out of.

    Someone advised reading. I might start doing that again. It did help at the beginning of this bumpy seperated / divorce road.

    #47998 Report

    Matt W
    Participant

    <span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”> Been talking to a wise friend. She tells me not to allow the negative thoughts to turn</span><span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”> </span> <span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>into actions. I can’t allow myself to give in to this and I’m not going to improve unless I get some rest and get my arse in gear. I can only imagine I’ll look back and wonder why I entertained it for so long. One thing I’m realising is that you don’t have to remain bitter about the situation, lots of people get angry about what has happened and that anger helps them but then stays with them for what appears to be the rest of their lives. Kept in a box for when the subject arises. I am saddened</span><span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”> </span> <span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>by my wife’s affair but really when all is said and done would I have been any</span><span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”> </span> <span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>happier knowing she’s stayed with me for circumstances or loyalty to the family? I don’t want to live the rest of my life with someone who’s heart wasn’t in it. Sure she should have dealt with it differently there no argument there but I’m buggered if I’m going to carry anger round with me forever as it changed nothing. I am where I am. It’s taken me a few months to realise that. I’m going to go to bed tonight and focus on something more positive.</span><span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”> </span><span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”> </span> <span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>Wish me luck. !</span><span style=”caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 17px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”> </span>

    #47999 Report

    Matt W
    Participant

    I’ll try that again …..

     

    <span class=”s1″>Been talking to a wise friend. She tells me not to allow the negative thoughts to turn  into actions. I can’t allow myself to give in to this and I’m not going to improve unless I get some rest and get my arse in gear. I can only imagine I’ll look back and wonder why I entertained it for so long. One thing I’m realising is that you don’t have to remain bitter about the situation, lots of people get angry about what has happened and that anger helps them but then stays with them for what appears to be the rest of their lives. Kept in a box for when the subject arises. I am saddened  by my wife’s affair but really when all is said and done would I have been any  happier knowing she’s stayed with me for circumstances or loyalty to the family? I don’t want to live the rest of my life with someone who’s heart wasn’t in it. Sure she should have dealt with it differently there no argument there but I’m buggered if I’m going to carry anger round with me forever as it changed nothing. I am where I am. It’s taken me a few months to realise that. I’m going to go to bed tonight and focus on something more positive.   Wish me luck. ! </span>

     
    <div id=”AppleMailSignature” dir=”ltr” style=”caret-color: #ffffff; color: #ffffff; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;”>Regards
    <div></div>
    <div>Wesley</div>
    </div>

    #48000 Report

    Carry
    Participant

    Good luck! 🤗

    #48001 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    Yes sure, agree with all above but what’s that got to do with not sleeping at night? Was it the anger keeping you awake?

    #48003 Report

    Matt W
    Participant

    No, it’s mainly been  thoughts of what’s been happening to me that keep me awake, thoughts  about the affair and as to what’s happening now. Problem is I’m letting these thoughts get the better of me.  Isn’t that the problem with mostly everyone here, I would imagine it is as people post  about the trauma it had caused them

    #48004 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    You are probably right.Or just the loneliness.So yes,it’s the thoughts,ruminating,chewing over and over.I’ve spent a fortune on Mindfullness therapy which does help one get a grip on the here and now.There’s a lot of helpful stuff on youtube in that dept.I also found it validating to learn that anger never exists on its own.It’s always rooted in pain or fear etc.Hope that’s any help,good luck on your path to a full nights sleep.😌

     

    #48007 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    tons of material on mindfulness available for free on youtube. a good solution for a good nights sleep is exercise. a 30 min run knocks me out.

    #48013 Report

    Sonzie2
    Participant

    Good luck Matt.  The anger or any bitterness will only hurt you in the end, dont let your wife’s actions define your future.  You are human so you have to work through the emotions of how the affair made you feel – the anger the shock, the devastation but don’t hold onto it any longer.  Your sleep is important to your general health and wellbeing so hopefully letting go of the feelings and trying to not let it consume your thoughts will help.

Viewing 11 posts - 31 through 41 (of 41 total)

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