Father struggling with the child free time

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Nel76 1 week, 2 days ago.

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  • #27376 Report

    cutts123
    Participant

    So has anyone on here, mums or dads, found that the time spent with your child/children, is amazing, but that the time when the child is with the other parent is an issue? i see my son a lot, almost every weekday evening and every other weekend and me and my ex get on very well. The weekends i have him are always amazing, because he is amazing and when i’m parenting is when i’m happiest i think. However i’m beginning to dread the weekends when i don’t have him. I have loads of passions and things i want to do, places i want to go, and yet no one to do them with, which makes me really sad. i’m basically lonely and although i have a large group of really good friends, i’m finding i want to see them less and less because i miss the spiritual connection you have when you have someone to love, i miss romance and simple things like watching sunsets with someone to hold. i know it sounds wishy washy but it’s something i’m really struggling with. i have counselling and am on anti ds, and yet it just seems to be getting worse. Any advice welcome, or if anyone suffers anything similar please feel free to message me. Thank you

    #27382 Report

    Gingey28
    Participant

    Hey hope you are ok. Here to chat if you want

    Ive never actually been in along term relationship but sometimes wish I had someone but mosty i like being independent haha so i never know what i want. Go out with friends, I know it may not exactly be what you envisage or hope atm but dont cut out that social circle and you never know going out you may bump into a nice lady

    #27385 Report

    Kendo
    Participant

    Hi, I understand exactly how you feel. I was married for 15 years and it ended almost overnight. Two years on, I’m now a 46 year old, divorced, single dad bringing up 5 children, full time, by myself. My life is busy with work, school and the children. But, when they’re in bed, I feel so lonely. I’ve been on dating sites recently, and it is so hard to find someone.

    I’m there for the children, but no one is there for me. Emotionally or physically. I miss having a glass of wine and a chat, cuddling on the couch, sharing experiences with someone. Even cooking a nice meal.

    I can get home after work on Friday at 5pm and not talk or see another adult until I’m back in work at 8am on Monday. I don’t have any friends here. I actually feel like I’m losing my social skills, because of my lack of social interaction. I lie in bed and wonder if this is is the way the rest of my life is going to be now. Alone.

    #27388 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    I’m in a similar situation. I have my son most of the time because my ex will usually do fewer than 40 nights a year. Every minute I spend with my son is precious but it isn’t a routine that leaves much for an adult relationship.

    I do my best to go out and meet new people as much as possible but I’ve sort of accepted that for at least the next 5 years, I will be single. I just keep telling myself it won’t be forever.

    it isn’t wishy washy,  it’s just human to be feel a bit isolated.

    #27391 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    Hi there

    I have been single for a while and have a 12 year old son who lives with me. I actually enjoy being single. Now he is plder I have time to get stuck into my hobbies. I love writing and go to boxercise and work part time. Maube you could find local groups who lile the same things or do a short course at college 😀

    #27424 Report

    cutts123
    Participant

    thank you for you’re replies everyone, just reading and acknowledging the fact that other people have similar struggles helps. patience is the tough one! be strong everyone

    #27426 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    I do have a bit of time each day but I think the amount is just right for me. I love weekends where I can pretty much chill as do majority of work/shopping during the week 😀

    #27438 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    I use the days when my son is with his dad to do all those child unfriendly things. Get my hair cut, redecorate a room, clean the fridge, get the car MOT’d, mow the lawn so that when my son is around we can make the most of time and not waste it on chores.

    I always have project on the go to fill a few hours. And I cycle & bake and run.Have you tried ParkRun. A good way to meet people

    #27453 Report

    Nel76
    Participant

    I’m sure all parents in our situation feel the same as you do, I know I certainly do! As nice as it is to be blessed with our children & friends… we’d be lost without them! I can relate to that feeling of loneliness. I have to remind myself why I am single & that I felt lonely in an unhappy relationship. That kind of loneliness is soul destroying. Have no words of wisdom I’m afraid, just wanted to share that sentiment. This is at least a place to find acknowledgement & know we’re not totally alone. The next chapter is yet to be written so hang in there😉

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