Father of my son left me…I’m angry but I don’t want to be

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Father of my son left me…I’m angry but I don’t want to be

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  • #22231 Report


    Me and my ex were together for 6 years and we had some pretty tough times. But all of sudden he left me and our son and immediately got with a younger girl. It left me heartbroken and in utter despair. I was made homeless and all sorts. Our son is always with me his dad has never had him over night. But I moved back down to where my family and friends live because my ex was emotionally abusive. I know he wasn’t good as a partner but I’m so angry that he’s moved on with his life and got married even though we were planning to get married ourselves. My ex hasn’t seen his son either and has blocked my number. I’m so angry that this person who treated me like rubbish is still causing me grief. I don’t want to feel anger I just want to feel like me again. Can someone give me advice please?

    #22236 Report


    Oh dear poor you! You have had a lucky esscape so you need to forget about this creep cake!

    I use to think about my ex and he was manipulating me but glad I no longer wash his underpants!

    So find a local college that does hair and beauty and go treat yourself .I had a wash and blow dry which cost £3.50 last week by one of the students. For mother day I’m booked for 5 treatment s which includes a full body wraps and massage costing £25 and get free lunch and will be home at 3.30,pm to meet my girl from school . Go and cheer yourself up and be pleased that you are free of washing his knickers !!!

    #22237 Report


    Hello Vic998…i read your post and it sounded very similar to my own recent break up….moving back to be around your family is probably the best thing you could have done…can i quote you “i know he wasnt a good partner”…..so why so angry?…by the way Vic998, anger is not always a bad thing, its natural some times, you can use it to steel yourself…it will help you rise if you direct it. being angry at your ex because he has met someone younger will eat you. but rest assured, as the reliable as the sunrise…it will fail, if he is as you say. so many many things in your post could be me !….the only differnce is our gender. i really hope you are k as you can be Vic998, trust me, i know how soul crushing this crap is…….

    #23484 Report


    I’m sorry for not replying. I was busy moving into a new property for me and my son.

    I’m angry because my ex manipulated me into aborting our second baby when he knew he didn’t want to marry me and also knew how hard it was for me to conceive. I feel like he took that second baby purely out of spite. He still hasn’t grasped just how awful I feel. I told him how hard it is being a single parent and his response was ‘oh that’s a dig isn’t it’.

    The woman that he left me for is now his wife. And he still hasn’t come down to see his son but he’s planning on going away to her native country. So he’s prioritising his new family before his existing one.

    My ex was emotionally, mentally, physically and psychologically abusive towards me. Making me feel like everything was my fault. I got blamed for his mum being terminally ill to his dad losing his job. Everything was my fault.

    I feel like I’m that damaged that no other man would want to be with me. And I feel like that opportunity to be a mum again would never happen. I know that’s in my head but I can’t stop those feelings. I generally feel like I can’t move on and that I feel so hopeless sometimes.

    #23505 Report


    Hi Vic (Vicky?),

    There are many of us here that are either going through or have been through the mental anguish that you are now feeling, being in an abusive relationship has effects that carry on even  when the abuser is no longer in your life, I know this personally havin been in an emotionally abusive relationship around 3 years ago that left me PTSD, it’s only now over the past 6 months where I feel as though I’m over the hard part, there are still some places I go where my anxiety levels ramp up as I might bump into her but I certainly don’t let it restrict me anymore.

    The thing to keep in mind is that you are now free of your abuser, no longer can he inflict misery, the misery you now feel is the start of your recovery although it may not seem that way. Your free now to start to rebuild your life in the way that makes you happy…..you can find yourself again. If you are really struggling and it’s effecting how you live your life then it might be a good idea to have a chat with your doctor, personally I’m not a fan of pills but a course of Cognitive Behavioural therapy could be just the thing you need to change your perspective.

    As for feeling no man would want you I feel is wrong, you’ve had relationships before so that goes to show that men would want you, yes finding the right man to help rebuild your trust and emotional state isn’t easy but there definitely is someone out there that will take away the hurt from the past and quite possibly give you a chance to add to your family.

    Hope this helps


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