I believe ou ref your perception he may be unsafe. Never mind what the HV says. If he keeps flying off the handle at every opportunities he is near you then of course you’re worried and anyone who casts doubt on what you feel isn’t in your position to comment.
I do agree that it is best for you and your little one of you do what you can to keep the peace. Medical sounds like a good suggestion. It may be this type of route is the best option you have. Is there another party you can consult with for professional advice on this. I don’t mean the HV. Have you looked online at the various charities with support lines where you can ask for further advice on the legalities of this.
There are times where I feel my ex has been to heavy handed. There are times when I’ve lost my temper in the past and shouted unreasonably loud at my child. I think if we are all honest, we all have the potential at times not to be calm. But if this is a consistent pattern of aggression and you feel frightened then I understand and feel you are right to want more control over the situation. Keeping your daughter with you when sick is completely understandable. But I can also see how he would interpret it and might feel. Could you just email him and explain you are frightened of him and how aggressive he is and the impact this may have on your daughter. You therefore want to pursue mediation. Keep everything you have in writing. Keeping him on side as much as possible is probably the best idea in the long run. It doesn’t mean going against your fit though.
Hello, I had similar concerns about my ex, I ended things when my daughter was six months. It’s so hard to separate the abuse you experienced, and having to coparent my with the person that abused you.
What helped me was having clear boundaries, that allowed me to feel safe, and didn’t give him an opportunity to have any control on my life.
1. All pick up and drop offs in a public place.
2. Times are set
3. communication only through WhatsApp/email
4. Only respond to anything directly linked to my daughters needs, never react/respond to anything else (your reaction is what they want)
5. Security camera in my home (which he’s aware of).
The worries never completely go, but I can be reassured that I have done all I can, my daughter sees her father and loves him, unless that changes then I will continue.
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