Father of 4 years old other side of the world

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  • #36632 Report

    HarveyD
    Participant

    Hi there,

    I am in the middle of a separation from my partner of 15 years and we have a four year old son. We moved back to the uk several months ago after living in NZ for over 10 years (Im brit, hes Kiwi)  but his father will leave to return to new zealand shortly. The separation has been somewhat amicable but there is still tension up to this point before he leaves. My concern really is about how this will be for my son. I have not come across many people where they have to parent so far apart. Im feeling really isolated in my situation really, as not many people can relate to the problems that such distance can cause. He cant pop over when he wants and my son cant ring when he wants due to time difference and then i think of the future – all holidays and pay will be on travel for him to see his dad or he come here. So last time his dad returned to NZ my son appeared fine but developed a kind of obsession with hand licking and germs and then it stopped when his dad came back, so now he will be leaving for longer-term, im worried how this will affect him. He absolutely adores his dad. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation?

    #36658 Report

    jaykkay
    Participant

    Hi, I am separated from the father of my sons and we have returned to live in Scotland while he has remained in spain.  I know it’s not quite as far but it is still difficult and causes me a lot of guilt.  We are fortunate in that the children can FaceTime their dad and speak to him regularly.  Perhaps your ex will get up to make sure he can speak with your wee boy on a video call?

    My kids have photos of their dad in their room and we talk about him so that they know they can mention him etc…

    I’m not sure if this is helpful to your situation but I wish you well x

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