Father hasn’t seen children for 5 years and suddenly turns up on the street

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  • #38889 Report


    My childrens father left 5 years ago. He has never contacted, seen, spoke to children or me since leaving. Never cared about their birthdays, christmas etc.. Children were playing outside the house with few friends and their dad drove past and approached them (after 5 years). Said hello, he misses them and drives off again. My  children are now 8 and 10 and were really sad and confused and were in tears after seeing him like that after 5 years.

    I was in shock myself and heartbroken for the kids to go through this because they know that their dad is around, but he hasnt been in their life.. I have tried contacting him and he said he wanted to get back with me and live together again, nothing really about the children. Its now been a further 3 months and i havnt heard anything from him as i wanted to go through mediation and discuss whats best for kids as i didnt want him driving here like that again. He still has parental responsibility so i dont know where i actually stand and now im scared that it will happen again… surely he cant be doing this. Its not fair on kids.. I would like some advice as to what i can do, or hear from anyone who has been through this..

    Also does a father still have parental responsibility although they havnt been in their childrens life for such a long time!?

    #38940 Report


    Hi – Yes if named on the birth certificate they have parental responsibility no matter what. If he has not shown up again since perhaps he wont resurface. at least for some time. Try not to worry excessively.  Any genuine intention would probably include more effort than this. It is possible that seeing them and saying hi was actually enough to satisfy him and the interest has died again. It is unsettling I’m sure. Try and focus on supporting your children emotionally and developing as strong and secure a relationship as you can with them. I hope things works out for you all and as someone in this same situation I know the pain the children feel is heartbreaking for us to see. X

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