Looking to see if anyone has had any similar experience,
I separated from my babies father june last year, since then he has had her two nights a week on his days of. This caused a bit of stress as he works in a call center so when his days of had to get changed I was then the one having to rearrange her nursery arrangements. I worked part time in retail at the time and also had to reduce hours and change my schedule to work around this, as in his mind when hes working she is my responsibility. I am also the only person who pays for childcare and have not received maintenance payments since march. When I started a new job in august which was mon-fri 9-5 I moved her from nursery to a childminder I trusted and change the contact arrangements with her father to alternate weekends where he picks her up at 4 from childcare and i get her back at half 6 the sunday one weekend and i have her the next. On the weeks I have her i suggested he pick her up at 4 two nights a week and i’ll collect her from him after work at half 6, he refuses to day this saying there is no point.
He is taking me to court to contest this arrangement stating he wants her on his days off every week which are tuesday night-wed night and then thursday night to sat night. This would mean i would again have the uncertainty of if his shifts changed i have to sort childcare somewhere down the line and also he would be seeing her a total of 40 hours per week whereas i would only have 15 with her.
It is also worth noting we live 35 mins from eachother so next year when she is due to start nursery this will mean two different school districts, and I am the one who has to organize her doctor and dentist which are also down with me. He is also stating there is no point him having responsibility of her on a day he works, yet i am automatically expected to.
I worked part time for the first year and a half of my daughters life, I struggled a lot to make ends meet with us and part of that is due to her fathers refusal to pay maintenance. I then had to make the very hard choice to start a full time job of which I am also gaining a qualification to ensure a good life for me and her. This is not a choice I wanted to make.