2 October 2020 at 8:01 am #44513
My husband went to work one day in June and didn’t come home. Ever since then life has become hell, I had to put up with constant harassment in person or by phone. It finally escalated mid September with him assaulting me. The police are involved and he has bail conditions to stay away and not contact me, a non-molestation order/occupation order has been filled. My problem is I’m in limbo with the finances. I receive UC, he pays the mortgage, at present no child maintenance which I’m looking into as he earns good money and the maintenance calculator says he should pay more than the price of the mortgage. B4 anyone jumps on me, all I’m asking for is the difference. I tried mediation with him, but he ended things mid way through a meeting as he didn’t want to disclose his finances. The next day he assulted me. I’m not entitled to legal aid due to the capital in the property, I can’t afford a solicitor, they quoted me up to £12000 for sorting the finances. I’m now worried as my adult daughter has told me the was buying furniture for his new house. I’m now wondering if the mortgage is being paid? He had been pressuring me to remortgage to release some capital for him, I know wonder if he’s managed that, he asked for his passport the day after he assulted me. I obviously can’t talk to him to discuss things, but as I said I can’t afford a solicitor. Any ideas? It’s really worring me2 October 2020 at 9:45 am #44514
I went through the financial settlement process through court and i had a set price off my solicitor of £1500 + vat. There were a few extras because my ex kept trying to delay things but I didn’t spend more than £3k on the whole thing and my ex was a massive pain to deal with. £12,000 seems a lot to me. I also wasn’t entitled to legal aid. My solicitor also let me pay in instalments of £100 a month until the case was settled, the only thing they wanted straight away were any court fees. I would look for a different solicitor
Is the mortgage in both of your names? If it is contact the mortgage company and ask for a statement and explain the situation to them. If it’s only in his name, as was the case with me, you can put a restriction on the property to prevent him from selling or re-mortgaging it i did it on line and it cost a few pounds.
Raise a case with the cms to get the right amount of maintenance that way you won’t have to speak to him about money at all. This year i also took him to court to get a child arrangement order in place to prevent him threatening me anymore and now he isn’t allowed to call or message me unless it’s an emergency and he is not allowed to my house it was all detailed in the court order. I did that all without any solicitor help.
He’s just trying to intimidate you to get you to do what he wants just make sure you don’t sign anything, my ex tried to get me to sign a form agreeing to him having a £25k loan against the house when i refused he lost it at which point i was so scared i called the police and reported all the things he had done to me over the previous four years.
Try to stay strong, I know it’s hard but you will get through this.2 October 2020 at 10:52 am #44517
Hi Twinnies, sorry to hear you’re going through this. Our Single Parent Helpline may be able to help. Please do call them on 0808 802 0925 to speak to an adviser. Calls are free from landlines and mobiles and the Helpline is open Monday 10-6, Tuesday 10-4, Weds 10-1 and 5-7 and Thursday and Friday 10-4.
I hope that helps, Carmen.