- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 3 months ago by broken-record.
28 May 2018 at 5:47 pm #11681
So spilt up with Ex over 2 years ago, we sorted out a shared parenting plan pretty quickly and amicably.
Has been in place over two years now.
ex has now met new partner. Things started to get difficult when after 3 months the world step parent, step brother started getting used.
ex has asked for the routine to be changed, agreed to fist one, then said no to the other two suggestions.
this is when things started to get really bad, started off with refusing to give new mobile number, then was told to keep away from house or threat of injunction .
I currently have children 5 days a week, in the letters I have been sent, DV has been mentioned, that my children have been witness to this supposed behaviour.
i just feel completely broken from all these false allegations, have been threatend with court if I don’t agree to demands, asking for half of the DLA that I receive. I only claim for one of the children.
I am terrified that the lies will be believed, despite no police or social services.
any help, advice is very welcome.28 May 2018 at 6:30 pm #11683
Sorry to hear that you are in this situation. My situation is not dis-similar. My ex moved straight in with the woman he was having an affair with and his behaviour has been vile, all sorts of bonker’s threats.
This is much easier said than done (and I wish I could take my own advice on this one) but just say that the routine has been working well for the last two years and you see no reason to change it whatever allegations he makes. Don’t give him the money and don’t change the status quo. Document everything and if he wants to take you to court, let him. He will be asked to provide evidence of DV or whatever else he is alleging. If he can’t, he will come across as malicious. If you are then ordered by the court to change the routine, hand over some DLA or whatever, then do it but not before. He won’t be able to take you to court without trying mediation first and if he refuses that, it won’t do him any favours at court.
Not sure if that helps.28 May 2018 at 8:00 pm #11684
Hi Aj, thanks for replying. I’ve been a bit sparse with all the info as I didn’t want to give to much away about myself. But I’m actually the Dad.
I know how unusual this situation is, a father having his children 5 days a week. I did everything you mentioned, saying it’s not in the children’s interest, it’s the status quo.
Originally I was having my children from Thursday to Sunday, but pretty much I was having them both on Wednesday. Then last September she asked if I could have both boys as she wished to attend collage. I agreed and for 5 months it was all fine. Her behaviour/attatude just got worse after I lost my cool with her when she text me 10 minutes befor collection that she would collect the children 5 hours later than the agreed time, I was mad and said some things I regret, but I did call her partner and apologise.
I was just getting frustrated at her refusal to answer any calls/text messages. Then in January of this year she told me that she would no longer be coming to collect the children from my address due to my ‘behaviour’ She keeps throwing ‘my behaviour’ or ‘you are to blame for all of this’ in the endless letters she sends.
the last two school holidays she has not had the children as she refuses to come to my house, and says I should be ashamed of myself for not organising something so she can collect her children. Despite me saying, if you don’t wish to come, ask uuur partner to collect them.
its really running me down, this half term I have agreed to the children being collected our neutral location. But I just know this is never going to stop.