Facing Separation with new baby

[Olra1420]

Never thought I’d have to write this.

I’ve been together with my husband for 12 years. We have a 5 yr old and a 3 month old. He says we don’t have a connection anymore and that we are now just friends. The lack of intimacy over the years as played a big part in our current crisis. We never gave time to ourselves. He preferred to stay up to silly o clock and use his phone rather than connecting with me. He is a good man and loves our children. I love him but I’m beginning to feel cold towards him because of what he is putting us through. He isn’t sure about working things out. I think he doesn’t really want to. So, we are facing separation. Just me and my girl and baby boy. I’m heartbroken and I have no idea what to do next.

 

[Cara35]

Hi Olra1420,

I’m in a very similar situation to you. Been with my partner 16years we have a 2 year old, he has out of the blue told me we feel more like friends. He left 7 weeks ago to stay at his mums so we are already separated. He’s gone cold and isn’t willing to talk through or work things out.
If you would like to chat I’m here as I know how hard it is trying to deal with the situation and all the feelings it brings

[Olra1420]

Hi thanks for your reply. A chat would be great. I feel so alone right now. He can’t go anywhere because of the virus. I’m not sure if he wants to leave or not. We haven’t really decided what to do but I think separation may be the only way. All of a sudden he has changed, turned cold on me and dropped this bombshell when we have a new baby. I really can’t believe it and I feel so scared.

[Marla1982]

Hey, I’ve been there too just my children were a bit older. Also we used to live together during separation as well so I was seing him every day. It was very painful as every day I had to do everything around kids day and night except fridays afternoon because he said he is tired and he can only do 4 hours childcare a week! I would have understand that if he was i dont know a miner, or even a post man but no. He was working in an office, keying invoices, from 9 till 3, it’s not even a bloody full time. Later on same year I’ve meet love of my life and we have a beautiful baby boy together. My partner does everything now as in helps me with children, all 3 of them and treats me like a proper  woman. Couldn’t be happier. So after hell of a storm I see this gorgeous rainbow and I believe you’ll be the same. Who knows maybe you guys will work things out somehow. I wish you all the best x

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