Ex partner telling him ive met someone

[msangela]

Ex partner & I together 15 yr. two children together 11 &4

He had an affair, for 6mths, set up home with this women behind my back, introduced my children to her after 6 wks of moving out the family home without my consent or knowledge.
They split 4 months later.
it’s been 2 years now we have been separated. I met someone a year ago been kept on the low down no one knows im having a relationship I’m ready to tell my ex he has absolutely no idea and also want to introduce my children.  I’ve no idea how to do this what do I say as I’m sure this will come as a shock to him Im no longer wanting to hide my new relationship I’m sure this is going to cause problems any advice

[Mummy_of_2]

Hi,

I would say it would depend on if you are on good terms with him or not. If you are maybe arrange to meet up for a coffee and tell him that the reason is because there is something you need to discuss with him. If not maybe over the phone either in a phone call or on a text.

I know if I eventually meet someone I would be in the same situation as you are and I’m more than sure that my ex would cause so much grief for me even though he is with someone else and has been since we split up.

Good luck in telling him and I hope it goes well for you.

[Coast2Coast]

Seeing it has been 2 years dont think there is any reason why you need to tell him especially if you dont get on anyway.

I would be more concerned how you going to introduce them to your children. If you are doing handovers in person then maybe is the time to go to a neutral location if he is likely to cause problems.

If he does create a scene and goes mad he risks having no contact with his children for a while . He only has himself to blame seeing what the circumstances are

[msangela]

we are amicable be side of the children there is already I contact arrangement in place that I initiated so he couldn’t stay messing me around or the boys about contact, which works well. He collects the boys from school & drops off at school so there’s no problems with handover it was done that way for that reason.  My ex is now single  as far as I know, however I just don’t think it will sit well with him me deciding I’m moving on with my life as he is regretful and has tried to get back with me many times which is not going to happen I’ve been very clear about that I don’t trust him at all.

[Mummy_of_2]

In that case then I would explain to him that you are telling him to be respectful to him as he is the father of your children and not requiring his permission.

It sounds like you have all contact sorted and his only concern should really be about if the person you are introducing to the children is a good person, not the fact your in a new relationship.

Although you may be mindful of how he might feel when he is told, as he is now regretful, it sounds like he’s caused a lot of upset and heartache. It’s your turn to be happy now.

[Author]

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