I have an ex with a range of mental health issues and we have a 1 year old child. We haven’t been in contact for a number of months now, with lockdown etc it hasn’t been easy. I just wondered if anyone had any tips on dealing with an ex partner who is extremely unpredictable, dips in and out and blames you for everything and how best to deal with them and with handling any contact with our child that they may have going forward? Many thanks!
I completely understand your situation. My ex suffered with depression which we worked through when we were together and even after we split up. ( I think there are also other mental health issues alongside the depression causing him to act the way he does). He was civil until I had a difference of option or do something he doesn’t like then he would turn nasty and blame me for everything wrong in his life.
After putting up with this for about 8 months after we split I made a decision to have no contact with him unless it was necessary. He was destroying my mental health causing me anxiety and realised that was not only no good for me, but it was no good for my children either.
On the advice of a solicitor I have trusted family members who supervise contact with the children. He goes through them family members to arrange the contact. My children are older than yours but something like this could work especially if you were concerned with him having mental health issues.
My sons mother was like this I’d say if contact does restart keep records and screen shots of everything, this is what I did n proved valuable for the social worker we had. Like mummy_of_2 said get trusted family or friends to be present or contact a social worker there really not as bad as people say in my experience.
Thanks for both of your comments, we will see if he decides to make contact with me, so far its like he doesn’t give a monkeys, I suppose I should enjoy the peace from his drama right now but I always worry about the future and what chaos it will be like for any contact. None of my family or friends get on with him unfortunately and all he does is talk badly about me to them. I did suggest that a third party which I know and trust supervises contacts but he went mad at that and didn’t agree. I guess we will see but I know deep down it’ll be a horrible journey ahead..dealing with someone like him, such hard work and never know where you stand, such a shame really. Anyway thanks for the advice I appreciate it 🙂
It an awful situation to be in. It might be worth speaking to a family law solicitor and getting some advice from them as they maybe able to give you some better guidance. When I spoke to one they said because of the emotional abuse I was getting then I could apply for a non-molestation order (basically an injunction). They also told me that if I was really concerned about his mental health and the way he was behaving affecting the children I could apply for a full psychological analysis type of assessment on him.
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