Ex-Wife going away with new bf and denying me access to kids

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  • #17423 Report



    New to this community but been separated for nearly 4 years.  divorce is on-going but is a very slow process because my ex-wife just does not respond to any letters / emails / forms to be completed through the solicitors.

    This is my latest battle.  My ex-wife is going away to Benidorm for 5 days next week, starting on Monday 5th November.  I only found out she was going away during the week by accident as she had implied that it would be a weekend away.  I’ve no problem with her going away apart from the fact that she says she has no money to pay for her half of divorce, half of sons football subs, half of daughters dance holiday club.

    That aside I asked for the Children to be with me while she was away.  )The kids are with me on Tuesdays and every other weekend.  I’d have them more if she would allow.).  When I asked to have the children I was told ‘it’s sorted’.  I asked again and was told in no uncertain times ‘it’s sorted and you can have them on Tuesday as normal’.

    I found out that it is my ex-wifes mother who is supposed to be looking after my children.  I keep asking for the children to be with me but it keeps falling on deaf ears.

    My solicitor has contacted her solicitor to ask her to be reasonable and there is no reason why I cannot have the kids.  Despite several requests we have had nothing back other than to say ‘the solicitor is taking instruction from their client’.

    I have the children with me this weekend and want to have the children next week with me, and they want to stay with me too.

    there is no residency order in place and nothing other in place.  Am I within my rights as a parent with shared responsibility of the children to insist they stay with me next week.


    a bit of history about the ex-mother in law.  Since we broke up the mother in law has arranged holidays to USA so that the Children miss my birthday and this year my son was away with them on his birthday.  They had the whole summer holidays to chose from after I cancelled my holiday with kids after a barrage of abuse from the ex-mother-in-law, yet they still go away to cause as much heart ache as possible.


    I could go on but am interested to see if anyone has any advice or has been through the same thing….


    Thanks for reading.


    #17438 Report


    Many thanks for the reply.  I just feel that if I do not stand up for myself and the right to have my children then she will continue to behave like this in the future.


    #17441 Report


    Thanks again for your message.

    My story is very complicated and long winded.  In short we had ups and downs in sorting out the divorce / separation.  She would in the past ask if I wanted the children.  At Christmas time she played me and led me to believe we’d give it another go.  So I stupidly broke up with the girl I was seeing.  As soon as I did that my ex-wife said ‘not interested ‘.  Things got bad after that.  I started divorce proceedings and some 8-9 months later we are no nearer a resolution.

    We have exchanged financial information (July 2018).  I had several questions which remain unanswered.  An example question was and still is:  how much spousal maintenance does she want?  After being separated and never asking for it why now does she want it.  Another is why does she need to save £450 per month for holidays?  When she came to collect the kids (they were inside my rented accommodation) I asked her how much she wanted?  She had no clue what I was talking about.  Next thing she has called the police.  I was not arrested or anything but advised to go through solicitor.

    She claims not to be able to afford the divorce fees but can afford to pay for a holiday to Florida in summer and go to Benidorm next week.  She can afford to go out drinking every other weekend and pay £80 on her nails each month.

    After finding out she had not paid her half of the divorce I paid her half to get things moving.  This was back in August.  The forms still have not been sent to the courts because she is delaying things.

    At end of August the fixed rate on our house was up and the cost of it has gone up substantially.  She said it’s in my interest to sign a renewal but keeps calling it a transfer.  I’ve told her I’m not signing it as I want to move on and buy my own place.  She has agreed to go to a mediation meeting but it’s the first one and I tried to do the mediation process 18 months ago only for her to say ‘not doing it’.  Again a delaying tactic.  I even think she is not paying her solicitors bills just to slow the process down.

    I Coach my sons football team and I have to stand there trying to coach a team of 14 year olds while being goaded into causing a scen by her and her family.  They are all just really nasty and need to move on.

    My parents have now lost patience with her and have withdrawn their support to her (school runs etc).

    Everything is last minute with her and no thought of planning.  So this is why I feel I need to stand my ground and fight for the right to have my children next week.

    Not sure how the weekend or next week will pan out but I’m not the type of person to seek out trouble but I do not like things not being fair.

    lifes unfair and this situation just needs someone to tell her that she is out of order.



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